swagger

It feels like we've lived an entire other week just to get to this point that we can sit back and think about what happened last night.
Some really undignified photos exist of us kneeling in puddles of champagne clawing at the television and sobbing into the arms of our friends.
Thanks to Noodles and Henrik at The Hockey Junkies for providing us with a home away from home in Pittsburgh over these past few days.
We don't know what we would have done in the waning moments of Game 7 or during the Cup celebrations without a roomful of people who were screaming as loudly as we were.

The South Side of Pittsburgh was a beautiful place to be, truth be told. Countless assholes, drunks, people of age getting into bars that we couldn't get into, skanks everywhere.

There were moments when we didn't think it was going to happen.
That the Red Wings were just gearing up for the heartbreaker.
Jiri Hudler could tie the game with 34.3 to go and force overtime, setting up a 4OT thriller won by Pavel Datsyuk. He would backhand it from the slot after Holmstrom interfered with Scuderi, preventing him from gaining defensive position or some shit.
It could have happened.
Shit was bad. And we were scared.
Some of the longest moments of your entire life.



But instead of watching some fluke of luck go in their favor, we got to see one of the most surreal Stanley Cup celebrations of all time.
A win over the team that ran our magical season into the ground last year.
Watching each and every one of those men become what they have always been meant to be.
For those of them who already had Cup rings, it was just an added bonus.
Think, however, of Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Jordan Staal--our three young, talented centermen brought together on this team to do what they do best in such a way that it's almost too good to be true. Crosby, a leader. Malkin a Conn Smythe winner.
Max Talbot a winner.
Brooks Orpik a sobbing mass of manhood, eyes shedding tears that mere hours before had been piercing the flesh of Darren Helm.
Rob Scuderi finally getting recognition as the hero that he has undoubtedly been for years of Penguins history.
They're the best.
These boys that we have watched. Seen at their highest and lowest points. Watched their struggles. They have officially become elite. It's the stuff of legends. It couldn't be better if it were a bestselling novel.
We're stunned and pleased and amazed and so goddamned lucky.

We are so fucking dorky.
We literally just said to each other, "Gandalf would have so many clutch things to say about this."
Like, really, this conversation just happened.

Zoë: I'm going to have to watch my Lord of the Rings boxed set this week.
Kim: It's so much like this season.

Maxime Talbot cemented his role again as an absolutely legendary person.
We weren't the only people who thought it would be a great idea to turn his house into Mecca. This is sidewalk art right on his front doorstep. No joke.
This is why you should totally abide by our shopping lists, because apparently everyone we want to buy scotch for scores the GWG in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final.
If you have any spare scotch, just leave it outside.
Knowing what we know now, he'll probably get it.

Everyone did what they were supposed to do last night.
You know what happened.
You saw the game.

Malkin got the award that the playoffs' biggest monster gets.
Every facial expression he made elicited a sob from the city.

This was Crosby's and Coachy's moment to get crunk and you fucking know it.

To post all of the photographs that we obsessively saved to our hard drives regarding this game and its aftermath would be the definition of spam. To post our thoughts would be an exercise in translating "FHLDKJLKSJFKLDHFKSLJDFLKSHFKLJFKLSDJS FUCKYES JESUSCHRIST *HUAGLAHAGLAHAHGALAG*" into proper English. And we're just not capable.

The Pensblog did a recap.

The parade is on Monday. We're getting up ass early to have the best seats in the house. We don't even give a fuck.

Kris Draper is a whiner and the Post-Gazette knows it. Last line of the article = unreal.

For us as people and as members of the Penguins community, this has been quite a journey.
Our very first recap was a win at Joe Louis Arena.
We don't mean to laud ourselves about anything ever, but two things we always have are great timing and incredible luck.
We're glad to have been here for this season.
Words still don't do this season justice and they may never be quite up to the job.
But in our hearts, we know.
We've just been part of something amazing, and we'd like to thank you for joining us.
Talk about full circle.

Six-part YouTube of CBC's postgame coverage as posted by amazing user crazieman76. UNFUCKINGREAL stuff. NBC just needs to give up.
Part 1. Watch Rob Scuderi. You will fucking lose it.
Part 2. Everyone is fucking hilarious.
Part 3. Gush at everything.
Part 4. How is Petr Sykora the happiest man on this team no matter what? At 4:27 he sprays Crosby with champagne while screaming YEAHHHH SID FUCKING A. His voice is hoarse. Every word he says in these videos is a sob, the vestige of a scream.
Part 5
Part 6

Just watch that.
Over and over and over and over.

We're going to keep celebrating, because this is the only win that we can have where we don't have to immediately worry about the next one.
It's what being a champion is all about. You finally have some pimp time. And my oh my, do we have pimp time ahead of us.

Do it?
Did it.

Go Pens.