bring on the whiskey.

If we lacked faith, we'd say "this is how it all starts."
Gonch injuries seem to be the starting pistol for a downward spiral of suckage. Last year it was the reason for many drunken rages calling for the blood of David Kočí to be smeared across the face of a hungry Brooks Orpik.
This time around? We think we'll survive with minimal counts of alcoholism due to hockey depression. Four to six weeks will go by pretty quickly; they always do in hockey. And what with Max's comeback coming up, we were already looking forward. We're willing to bet all of the juice boxes we own that Max is exaggerating his return date greatly so he can shock everyone with his resilience when he comes back much earlier. It's mostly how he rolls.
We'll miss Gonch. It will be a painful absence and the lack of that laser from the blue line will not go without notice. But we are the Penguins - we do our best when we're backed into a corner. The name of the game is defending the Cup, and we trust the boys to keep it safe.
Your mission?
Blingee some get well wishes.

In other news, the Islanders finally ended their march of shame.
We're not sure if we credit Boy Canada for leading the dying team into a future of possible hope, or Cammycakes trying to do us a solid because we really wanted to see the Isles do something right for a change. Either way, go Isles.
This officially puts Toronto at the bottom of the stack. Poor baby Vesa.

Not much else today. We'd make up news if we weren't so tired. Just pretend the RBC center caught on fire, panic for a minute, and then remind yourself that it isn't true. That should spice up your evening.

We'll be here tomorrow with our new-ish feature.
Also, mildly exciting news on the horizon OMG ISN'T THAT TANTALIZING AND NONDESCRIPT??

Go Pens.