WTF NHL

There is no hockey today. None. You'd think that the Vancouver Olympics would pack tons of hockey into every possible scheduling slot, but no: no Sunday matinees. Too many other sports are going on for NBC to know that the NHL exists, so we don't have any 12:30PM holy showdowns. Really today is basically worthless.

In searching for reasons that hockey may have taken a one-day respite, PH Staff has determined that it is an early celebration of October 19, or Constitution Day on the island nation of Niue. We celebrate that shit every year, too.

Moving on. . .

Did you see Matt Duchene score yet? It's pretty cool. If you needed to come here to hear about it, you're either really busy or following hockey isn't your strong suit. i.e. we're late on this, sorry. NICE MOVE THOUGH MATTHEW HUGS+KISSES


The Islanders and the Maple Leafs still can't win, despite the fact that they could have on multiple occasions.
It's not like they're going into games with zero chance.
The Phoenix Coyotes, who have very few big-name players, are all but homeless, and by all accounts shouldn't be going into buildings with a chance to win, are currently (by however little) atop the Pacific Division. Addition by subtraction: Wayne Gretzky has no coaching ability whatsoever. He and Eddie Olcyzk need to join a club and that club is called "Predetermined Bans from the Muskrats Organization." *shudder*

As an aside to this whole day, what the fuck is with this NHL.com poll:
At least the public has their heads on straight. "No way" is pretty much the only way to answer this question.
Who are the 6.34% of voters who think this will actually happen? Where do they live? Can we speak to them or do they communicate only in eye blinks? How long has it been since the drugs destroyed their minds?

At any rate, Tuesday is St. Louis.
It's Cupcake's old team so he should be ready to fuck them up and take their lunch money.
The Blues have Conkblock now, and he just posted a shutout. Chances we'll see him? We'd research it, but we're too busy making a Jay McKee shot-blocking highlight reel and preparing baked goods for him.
Feel free to join us.
GO PENS.