That was supposed to be my evil laugh. I think it lost something in the translation to text though. Normally, you would already have pissed yourself in fear.
Well, I'm Megan. I'm Canadian, a scorpio, and long walks on the beach are bullshit. Feel free to swamp me with offensive canuck jokes, I will smile and laugh since we Canadians are a peaceful and friendly people. I might also sweater/jersey you and punch you in your stomach a lot.
Gramps illustrates THE classic hockey fight maneuver.
Then we`ll throw back a few beers. We Canadians have odd and awesome ways.
By the hand of God, Zoe's power is down, probably in retribution for some terrible sin. And with Kim in India, someone needs to man the helm. So, introducing me. That's a Jonas brother song. Introducing Me. I am so sorry that I know that.
Zoe suggests that I chat about the Winter Classic, so gather around the fire kiddies. Apparently the Classic is something that`s going on. Honestly, you wouldn`t know it here in Canada. Here, Christmas has fuck all to do with Santa and everything to do with the World Juniors. Despite the competition being on US soil, Canadians bought over 60% of the tickets. It is as you feared, Canada has finally invaded. Buffalo is just our beach head, the real horror is to come.
Bum-bum-baaaaaaah. I know. You`re super scared.
Right now they`re calling 12o Celcius and 100% chance of rain. Mother Nature is a cold hearted whore, made hard and world weary by years of peddling herself on the street. This is probably revenge for that whole Global Warming thing.
It`s likely to get postponed and played on Sunday, but we won`t know until 8pm. So here`s what you do. Call up some old highschool friends that are also home for the holidays and make plans. That way if the game is cancelled you`ll have someone to drink with and rant at about the fucking weather. If the game is on, atleast you don`t really care about them and you won`t mind bailling. Just don`t show, don`t even call to cancel. Remember, these are the assclowns that shot spitballs at the back of your head and other such assclownery.
I think if I weren`t a Pens fan, I would be breaking shit in frustration over all the Classic coverage. Especially with Sid`s streak, it`s been nothing but CrosbyOviCrosbyOviCrosviOvbyCrovsbiAlidSidlex for a solid 2 months.
By the bye, I move that we refer to Crosby and Ovi as Sidlex, in true celebrity couple tradition. What do you say? No?
Literally half of NHL.com`s Top Headlines are about the Classic.
How many references to the Winter Classic can you count kids?
Personally, this is heaven minus the virgins, but I almost feel bad for fans of the other 93% of the teams that are getting like 2% of the coverage. Not really though. Baha, sucks to be those fuckers.
Well, as sad as it makes me that Crosby's point streak was snapped, his 2 point-per-game pace will be some comfort. TSN just informed me that he doubled Ovi's production during the streak. Ovi had 6 goals and 25 points to Sid's 26 and 50. Mumzy always said that taking pleasure in other peoples' suffering is a bad thing, but I'm not convinced. This makes me so happy I could light shit on fire.
Atleast with the streak, Sid`s dirty pedo-stache might also die.
Look at him. He looks genuinely surprised and upset that I hate his muzzy. But I guess if I had facial hair that I honestly believed had gifted me with 50 points, I would love and protect it just like Sid does.
In other Crosby news (is there any other kind), someone has once again decided to give him a useless piece of hardware. Our boy is now the Canadian Press Male Athelete of the Year. No one cares, including Sid I assume, but it is a thing that happened, so I figured you good people should know about it.
Also this thing happened. Go look now. I don`t know WHY it happened, but it did. If I were a Capital, I would be filled with so much confidence knowing that my captain could ass rape nesting dolls with ease. What a champ. And Zoe already pointed out his other excellent leadership abilities on Friday. When Ovechkin goes to the locker room, he does the extremely useful activity that is sitting in the corner and saying, "fucking crossbar." Champ. The Caps are truly blessed.
I understand him shooting at Russian dolls, that`s almost clever, but is the dressing really necessary? Really that just seems weird to me. Maybe Ovi is losing it. Note Exibit B. Look now! Like Ovechkin wasn`t hideous enough. I wonder if he was jealous of Crosby`s bitchin Lady Tickler. I think he probably just tried to eat the eye black though.
Well thanks for this awesome play date kiddies. See you on the playground.