But right now it ain't.
Everyone's really upset about this, though no one nearly as upset as Scott Clemmensen, who had to come in cold after Vokoun started feeling elderly and went off to the locker room. Kovalev got him all hot and bothered and he crossed his legs a little too quick.
via kylekebert on the twitter machine.
embarrassing for Clemmer.
People on the Internet will have you think that it's embarrassing for the Pens, too, having to go to shootout with teams that have zero chance of making the playoffs this year. THIS WON'T WIN PLAYOFF GAMES! Everyone knows this. There's no shootout in the playoffs.
And weren't Neal and Kovalev supposed to bring offense on the clock, not in the skills competition?
wah wah wah
Let's all discuss if emptying the tank at this point in the season is great for this lineup.
Let's also discuss the difficult situations the Pens have put themselves in, and done much to correct, over the last several games.
Not every game is going to be played perfectly, and if the energy level isn't there (as you might expect it not to be, trying to do the lion's share of the work in a lineup that used to have, oh, approximately four more available centers than it does now), it's best to play conservatively.
If you fuck up and feel tired and still get 2 points, go to the locker room, get pissed, and try again.
It's not like we're really hurting in terms of keeping a relative amount of control over games. It's better to look a little flat for an afternoon game against the Panthers, or to be completely fucking bored in a game against the Devils, than to look totally lost and have egregious lapses in team mentality.
Let's all complain about it some more, though. WHY NOT
Here are some things that no one can complain about:
Brooks Orpik and his eyes returned for the 1pm contest.
Marc-André Fleury was named team MVP for the season, looked it, and looked all the more like a Hart and Vezina candidate.
From pad stops to some truly stunning work with his knob, Fleury's all over more or less all things.
Haters can no longer feasibly hate.
Ben Lovejoy snipes armpits.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping James Neal in your hip pocket.
Whisper to him gently and he will tell you all the answers you need.
Where's that fucking paradox machine now, dicks.
There are six games remaining in this year's regular season.
It's been a long road. Unlike last season, you probably haven't told yourself any horrible lies about what the team is capable of. They just kept proving you wrong, even as you tried to "be realistic."
And unlike the 2008-2009 season (the very first season that PH was with you), there haven't been abject, abject, horrible lows that made you want to drink yourself to death after dazzling heights, leading to more dazzling heights and shoot-yourself-in-the-mouth playoff games followed by kill-yourself-because-the-joy-is-too-overwhelming playoff games.
These last six games. . .well. They're interesting.
3/29 - vs. Flyers
Have to win this one in regulation to make the annoying Facebook diatribes end once and for all.
People will consider this a game in which the Pens have something to prove.
They better prove it or else people will tart committing suicide out of the upper bowl because they have too many feelings.
3/31 - @ Lightning
Entirely possible preview of the Pens' first playoff round.
Would be nice to see a tight game decided in the last 10 minutes of the third period.
Make it feel like playoff hockey, get the fans salivating. If it goes to shootout, Pens fans will drive to the CEC to commit suicide out of the upper bowl anyway if they didn't already after the Flyers game.
4/2 - @ Panthers
If the Pens lose any games in the last six, this one would probably be the least meaningful.
Of course, 2 points are always important.
Let it go to shootout to piss more people off.
Do it on purpose, even.
4/5 - vs Devils
Last home game of the regular season, will likely feature everyone's favorite "shirts off our backs" activity, lots of squeeing will commence.
The Pens shouldn't let this throw them off of their game, though.
If they cover the ice in bricks of lard, cupcakes, and Forever 21 discount coupons, they should be able to distract everyone long enough to win.
4/8 - @ Islanders
Pens fans running the Island Invasion for this one.
Objective: get 2 points, make fun of DiPietro's mask.
4/10 - @ Thrashers
GIRL I TOLD YOU NOT TO BUY THOSE SHOES
last game of regular season, okay.
Okay so MouthWash says James Neal's Brazilian bargain basement veneers are really "flares" and should therefore be outlawed by the NHL. I have to admit that upon further review of Mr. Neal's shootout tenderloin (on a brand new 32" LCD HD screen), I was incapable of turning away from his teeth. They were blinding. Would NOT want to be a goalie with those chiclets skating at me. I mean I was down with today's result, but all I keep thinking about is his teeth. I should be studying for a pretty important exam tomorrow, but it's all about the flashbacks and hallucinations from sleep deprivation. Gary Busey (and his bad veneers) coaches the Pens, not Disco Dan. Ray Shero gave away some choice picks to the Sharks for Logan "Choppers" Couture, who is now playing on the same line as Neal. They sit next to each other on the bench, incapable of closing their mouths and licking their teeth in unison every 5 seconds. Alyssa Milano, Hilary Duff and Miley Cyrus are ice girls, wielding shovels during TV timouts but mostly they're just trying to keep their mouths because ridiculous, oversized fucking teeth don't fit in their mouths. Ghetto-veneered Matt Cameron (Soundgarden/Pearl Jam) and Dave Grohl (Nirvana, Foo Fighters) have forsaken music for sport as new members of the team's training crew, standing by with Sonicares and Superfloss to make sure everybody's mouth remains minty fresh and food particle-free between periods... Is there a dentist in the house? How about a tooth league next year?
Oh yeah, the points. I don't think it matters how the points are made as long as they're had right now. Most people agree it's nothing short of miraculous that notwithstanding all the bullshit that has happened since January 1, 2011, the team is still making the playoffs. Shoot out the lights. Shoot to kill. Whatever it takes. Keep Going Pens.
Bob and Paul where on fire today.. example:-Reverend Lovejoy WTF -Chris Conner the "Panther Killer"
-Maby Vokun had to go to the bathroom, he has a lot of gear to take of and it takes a lot of time... YIKES
and of course the whole "right trough the armpit" thing
The pens have a bunch of whatev games ahead taking aside the Flyers and St. Louis bitches but I wouldn't let that get to my head, the thrashers have gave us very interesting games this season I hope we end the reg. that way..
@MouthGuard I tought I was the only one who noticed the Huuuge -horseface- teeth of Prince Neal.. but I think he uses an EXTRA large mouthguard<---- see what I did there.. ok i'm donein an EXTRA shiny white flourecent color thingy 'cuz basing on his interviews he is nowhere in the Couture league... and I think your right about his succes on the shootout consisting on blinding the poor golies.. imagine the eatingspree that Brodeur went on after that goal.. I feel sorry for the fattie
@Raquelmm @MouthGuard Au contraire, mon frère. I think Mr. Neal NEEDS a mouthguard, 'cause I'm not seeing much evidence that he uses one. He's relying way too much on his ghetto dentures. He needs an appointment with Duncan Keith's dentist, or maybe Mike Rupp's. Rupper has killer toofers. TRUE CONFESSIONAL: My dentist used to sub in for the Sharks' Dentiste du Jour estie de tabarnacle. De colis. He said he got a sick charge out of the gig while it lasted, but he opted to pull the plug because he just wasn't being paid enough $$$ to make it worth his while to commute all the way fuck down to bumpkin Santa Clara County to stare down some git booyah throat like Dan Boyle or Pickles Vlasic. Seriously people - off topic, I know - but if you need even more random boatloads of incriminating dirt on exactly why you need to hate the Sharks, just give me the signal and whip out your Amex black. We can talk. Sigh. The shit I endure just so that I can actually enjoy hockey in the flesh. I tell ya.
But the good news is, horsies are related to ponies, so I guess that means that the extra teeth are serving a higher purpose/calling, right? We can only hope. Bring it on.
@MouthGuard Can't argue with that so GO PONIES and GO PENS... at this point I don't care if we win in blinding shootouts by "ghetto dentures"lol or anything else just keep winning.