60 minutes should be enough

But right now it ain't.
Everyone's really upset about this, though no one nearly as upset as Scott Clemmensen, who had to come in cold after Vokoun started feeling elderly and went off to the locker room.  Kovalev got him all hot and bothered and he crossed his legs a little too quick.

via kylekebert on the twitter machine.
embarrassing for Clemmer.
People on the Internet will have you think that it's embarrassing for the Pens, too, having to go to shootout with teams that have zero chance of making the playoffs this year.  THIS WON'T WIN PLAYOFF GAMES!  Everyone knows this.  There's no shootout in the playoffs.
And weren't Neal and Kovalev supposed to bring offense on the clock, not in the skills competition?
wah wah wah

Let's all discuss if emptying the tank at this point in the season is great for this lineup.
Let's also discuss the difficult situations the Pens have put themselves in, and done much to correct, over the last several games.
Not every game is going to be played perfectly, and if the energy level isn't there (as you might expect it not to be, trying to do the lion's share of the work in a lineup that used to have, oh, approximately four more available centers than it does now), it's best to play conservatively.
If you fuck up and feel tired and still get 2 points, go to the locker room, get pissed, and try again.
It's not like we're really hurting in terms of keeping a relative amount of control over games.  It's better to look a little flat for an afternoon game against the Panthers, or to be completely fucking bored in a game against the Devils, than to look totally lost and have egregious lapses in team mentality.
Let's all complain about it some more, though.  WHY NOT

 Here are some things that no one can complain about:

Brooks Orpik and his eyes returned for the 1pm contest.


Marc-André Fleury was named team MVP for the season, looked it, and looked all the more like a Hart and Vezina candidate.
From pad stops to some truly stunning work with his knob, Fleury's all over more or less all things.
Haters can no longer feasibly hate.


Ben Lovejoy snipes armpits.


There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping James Neal in your hip pocket.
Whisper to him gently and he will tell you all the answers you need.
Where's that fucking paradox machine now, dicks.

There are six games remaining in this year's regular season.
It's been a long road.  Unlike last season, you probably haven't told yourself any horrible lies about what the team is capable of.  They just kept proving you wrong, even as you tried to "be realistic."
And unlike the 2008-2009 season (the very first season that PH was with you), there haven't been abject, abject, horrible lows that made you want to drink yourself to death after dazzling heights, leading to more dazzling heights and shoot-yourself-in-the-mouth playoff games followed by kill-yourself-because-the-joy-is-too-overwhelming playoff games.

These last six games. . .well.  They're interesting.

3/29 - vs. Flyers

Have to win this one in regulation to make the annoying Facebook diatribes end once and for all.
People will consider this a game in which the Pens have something to prove.
They better prove it or else people will tart committing suicide out of the upper bowl because they have too many feelings.

3/31 - @ Lightning

Entirely possible preview of the Pens' first playoff round.
Would be nice to see a tight game decided in the last 10 minutes of the third period.
Make it feel like playoff hockey, get the fans salivating.  If it goes to shootout, Pens fans will drive to the CEC to commit suicide out of the upper bowl anyway if they didn't already after the Flyers game.

4/2 - @ Panthers

If the Pens lose any games in the last six, this one would probably be the least meaningful.
Of course, 2 points are always important.
Let it go to shootout to piss more people off.
Do it on purpose, even.

4/5 - vs Devils

Last home game of the regular season, will likely feature everyone's favorite "shirts off our backs" activity, lots of squeeing will commence.
The Pens shouldn't let this throw them off of their game, though.
If they cover the ice in bricks of lard, cupcakes, and Forever 21 discount coupons, they should be able to distract everyone long enough to win.

4/8 - @ Islanders

Pens fans running the Island Invasion for this one.
Objective: get 2 points, make fun of DiPietro's mask.

4/10 - @ Thrashers

GIRL I TOLD YOU NOT TO BUY THOSE SHOES
last game of regular season, okay.

We believe.
Go Pens.