Why does it seem like everyone is getting their head hurt lately? By now you've seen Chara's hit on Max Pacioretty. We're not going to cry "omg so illegal" on it or anything, but Chara knows better. So much better.
Observe, via our friend Sooska on FB:
We're still working out the kinks with the Hair League.
Our current problem is that we're getting requests for substitutions that we can't substitute because our spreadsheet isn't set up yet to allow for them without putting in all of the previous points from the player who is being substituted--i.e. people keep requesting to sub Brent Johnson, but that would magically give their team like 200 extra points, until we revise the spreadsheet and its various equations.
Regardless, we're accepting your submissions and will process them soon.
We take the Hair League very seriously and update it daily.
if we did a playoff version of the Hair League, would you be interested in playing?
also, if you won the Hair League, what prize would you want to have? within reason, but feel free to be fantastical as well.
Your answers are important to the State of the Union.
ALSO, Dan Bylsma got a contract extension, like you didn't know that was going to happen. Total badass.
I like the playoff hair idea... and in the imaginary case that I win (yeah right, my team consist in Talbot, certanin someone that's out for the season and certain someone that just got his blond locks cut and aparently refuses to apear in public without a hat on) I would like anything with a Penguins logo that I can wear :D
I haven't seen the Chara hit yet (Iknow, I know life sucks when the charger AND battery of my computer got broken and have to share my dad's *sigh*) but a hit from fucking godzilla must hurt A LOT!!!!!
7 foot tall/250lb+ dumbasses like Lurch, Chara, Myers, and Andre the Giant need to be reminded that they're 7 fucking feet tall/250lb+ and when they "check" guys (like Pacioretty) or accidentally fall on people (like GENO - hello!) it's like totally gonna HURT and maybe even CRUSH somebody. If players of different sizes are going to be allowed to play in the same league, those players need to be conscious of their size and must be accountable for any damage they inflict - however accidentally - on players that aren't 7 fucking feet tall and don't have 300mph slapshots. It's ridiculous. Why not just let gorillas suit up, at this point? They don't know their own strength, either. But they're quiet, sweet hairy apes and are a lot more thoughtful about their actions. Turning this inside out, in a bizarro hockey universe Chris Conner could technically go all chihuahua and start elbowing guys' crotches "by mistake" as well. Right? "Sorry, dude. My elbow is at your crotch level and I was going super fast and had no idea..." Sigh. NO.
I would be down with Playoff Hair League. But in all fairness, it would have to honor some form of facial hair. I mean, c'mon. 'Staches, beards, burns, landing strips. Something. And I don't think that people who are subbing in guys who already have hair points should be allowed to get retroactive points. That's just no fair, hair. At least I picked a newbie with fucking awesome Crest Whitestrips teeth.
In the highly unlikely event that I should win the PH Hair League, I want a Boschetto al Tartufo Bianchetto wheel (a wheel - not a puny slab/hunk) and everything - EVERYTHING - that is subsequently recommended for me below this work of art in the "If You Like This Item, You May Also Like" section thusly:
This wheel is a prize within reason (it's 40 bucks, bitches) and it befits a nutjob with fucking awesome taste in everything like me, and the "recommendations" section is what extends it into the realm of fantastical truffle hip check orgazmitronica.
Yay Disco Dan. I'll bet it was his mad turkey trimming skillz as demo'd on 24/7 that sealed the deal.
Fershur down with hair league playoffs even if my team was an epic fail.
I could rock a bump-it. How about bringing back the topsy tail?