What a bag of sweaty balls.
While we're sick of having to win everything in a SO, we'd rather have that then just getting our faced pushed into the ground by the likes of Philadelphia.
Brb while I go burn this city to the ground.
MOMENT YOU THREW YOUR PANTIES ON THE ICE AND STARTED PICKING NAMES
The beginning of the game was indicative of a good, strong hockey game taking place this evening. It was fast and sharp, and the Pens were controlling play pretty easily.
And then, after you'd bitten your nails down to the point of cannibalism, Kovie picks up a delicious apple turnover, sits and enjoys it for an excruciating amount of time, and then sinks the leftovers right into the net.
He celebrates the increased surplus of sex-
And then cements his dominance by planting a seed of love directly inside of Ville Leino-
Check back in 20 years and there will be a majestic tree.
LEAST FORGIVENESS AFFORDED FOR A ONCE-PRETTY-SEXY EYE INJURY
We don't admit such things often, but there is a slight chance a member of PH staff once had lunch with a certain Mr. Coburn at training camp and said very little to him and squeaked loudly when their knees "accidentally" touched as she got up to hide in a corner and text all of her friends about the experience. Maybe there is an odd weakness for eye injuries.
Who are you to judge?
However, certain things can be forgotten when an unlucky bounce somehow makes this individual the recipient of a point against our team.
This time when we say "no more lunches" we mean it.
Celebrating a shot like this is like celebrating beating an Angry Birds level when your dog licked your iPhone screen.
Get punched in the face a few times and you may earn some more forgiveness. But not now.
ODDEST UNEXTINGUISHABLE FIRE
Our president is seriously uncontrollably recently.
We have to admit a little shock.
But a whole bunch more sexual excitedness.
MOMENT YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW WHAT WAS UP
Hartnell is an asshole and puts one in the net, following it up immediately with some really gentlemanly work around the net.
But you understand this now. It's 2-2, we'll be going to the third soon, so we'll get out slightly ahead, or with a tie and have to finish up in OT or the SO.
MOMENTS YOU REALIZED YOU WERE WRONG
And unfortunately, that was all.
Individual awards and alternative three stars are canceled due to general ball suckage of the game and lateness of this post, though we would like to give this photo mad props:
Get yours, Rupp.
So we're officially behindbehind the Flyers. But things have been better and things have been worse, and we're still pretty pleased with the way the team has been truckin' through this season. We're not going to complain, because things could be so much worse.
Get some sleep.
What a bag of sweaty balls.