I don't know about you, but my Saturday is crammed so full of stuff that it's starting to squeak. Watching this hockey game is about the only break I'm going to get today, in between running errands, editing a paper for a nervous pearl-clutching grad student, and going on a Hot Date later with the husband.
I think we're going to the shooting range and then the Chinese buffet
Also, let me tip my hat to reader Carski, who made us this glorious Blingee of The Prettiest Princess.
Any time you want to send us Blingees, girl, we are all about it
My esteemed compatriot Zoë is in attendance at today's contest.
Save me a French cruller, Coach
I am totally looking forward to Errey telling me how long Chara's stick is at every possible moment.
Apparently the line of Sullivan-O'Reilly-Kennedy is now the "Irish line"? We need some better nicknames for our lines, STAT.
Neal-Malkin-Kunitz should be the Destroying Goaltenders' Collective Wills to Live line.
The Bruins are playing about as well as one would expect, considering they are the defending Stanley Cup champions.
Timmy and Fleury are engaged in an epic goalie battle.
On one side is AMURRRICA and cheeseburger cakes. Possibly actual cheeseburgers.
On the other, humility and juice boxes with cookies for Geno.
Which would you rather have on your side?
I feel like this game will be a game of inches.
Of tiny, almost imperceptible things.
I don't feel like there's going to be an Epic Meltdown on either side.
Just when it looks like Malkin is finally going to be able to get around Chara and do something, he gets blatantly cross-checked by Peverley.
Malkin then proves why he's so awesome by scoring on the power play with 8.1 seconds left in the period. 1-0 Pens
I missed the first part of the second period because TKhusband decided to give me a gun-safety lesson in advance of our Hot Date.
Gun safety is important, gentle readers.
I came back to the game in time to see the Penguins' power play collapse in upon itself, like a dying star.
Dupuis has accidentally whacked Tyler Seguin in the mouth with his stick. OOPS
In the epic Timmy vs. Fleury Goalie Battle For Great Justice, Fleury is winning. And not just because of the score - Fleury's making ridiculous saves all over the place.
Brooks Orpik shows why no one wants to encounter him in a dark alley by putting an enormous hit on Paille. Seriously, that guy flew like ten feet across the ice. He even applauded a little when he got back up.
The Pens come out firing on all cylinders to start the third.
A bad neutral-zone turnover sets up Matt Cooke. The Most Hated Man In Boston stuffs it in to make the score 2-0 Pens.
Alas, we are none of us perfect, and the first Bruins shot in the third period goes in to make it 2-1 Pens.
The Bruins have picked things up in this third period, as well they might have. I remember hearing something about them being the best possible third period team. Which seems odd, because aren't we the best possible third period team?
Despite a ridiculous back-and-forth effort during the third period, the Bruins cannot seem to score. I notice Timmy sneaking off the ice with about 45 seconds left in the game.
Fleury completely bails us out, refusing to let anything else in the net. Penguins win 2-1
ALT THREE STARS
Joe Vitale, for getting a new contract, and because we love him
Brooks Orpik for putting Paille into low-Earth orbit
The New York Times for using the Florida-as-dong picture of Malkin on their Slap Shot blog
Up next: New Jersey. SNORRRRRRRRE