I am recapping on the fly tonight because the Penguins are the only thing in the world that could possibly excite me the night before a 7AM dentist appointment.

I won't be sticking around for the press to post their pics so you're just going to have to deal.  I'm sure Canada covered all of their photos in semen so I don't want to show you anything too lo-res/stained anyway.

Steiggy, Bob, please see me through this mess.
SURE THING ZOË

MOST FORGOTTEN 
Pregame ceremonies--who are we even playing again?

Apparently the season intro is some kind of weird take on the Matrix or a computer. We didn't understand it.

During player intros everyone's signature was written on the ice in lasers. Holy god. Shaking and crying. They are in a circle because they are a circle of love.

But when the puck drops the Leafs obviously are mad that we forgot about their dumb asses. PaulMart gave it away to Kessel early and it was terrifying.

LONGEST MARCH OF DEATH
Colton Orr and Deryk Engelland start killing each other. ORR'S HEAD SNAPPED BACK LIKE A PEZ DISPENSER said Bob Errey.
Just as the refs try to break it up they start actually murdering each other. Engo's hair flows in the slow-mo replay to rival Kris Letang.
He has an eye injury, we're all pregnant.

WHY
Is Eric Tangradi allowed to even skate on the same ice as Sidney Crosby.

Shit is obviously a lot calmer after the fight because this is allowed to happen exclusive of our everlasting vigilance.
Then Kunitz boards Komisarek. No one knows what is going on. PK is like a dream.
Then Tangradi has a pass to Gene while Gene is all alone and he fails.
Obviously the line with Joe Vitale and Craig Adams on it draws a penalty. Everyone else sucks.

WHEN GOD COMES HOME
Pens get a PP that is must-score or we look like assholes.
Just before the first PP unit would have slunk off, having done not enough, Sid hits Gene with a pass.
Oh sweet Jesus.
Reimer is helpless.
1-0 pens

"Just shoot one timer"
Would that everything were as easy as you make it sound, Evgeni.

MOMENT IT WAS ALL FOR NAUGHT
Clarke MacArthur up your butt. Kulemin pushed Engo, Engelland knocked Fleury down. To be fair to the Leafs though they were flying and we had nothing.
Gary Glitter may be back with the Pens but something has yet to exorcise the demons.
Joe Vitale is our only hope. Seriously.

THE CAM WARD MEMORIAL TROPHY
REIMER WHAT THE FUCK
honorary mention to excessive passing by our boys in black
AND JAMES VAN RIEMSDYK YOU RAT BASTARD
we never liked you
2-1 Leafs.

AWARD FOR BRAVERY
After the Leafs put their sacs on our faces, we are dead in the water.
Sid bumped a puck down with his body and went off to the races.
Nasty-ass semi-breakaway. Five hole. You heard us scream in other galaxies. SID.
Followed by endless penalties including some 5 on 3 bullshit.
Engo is the first out of the box, comes out to clear the puck. Thank god. Redemption.

SHORTEST LIVED REDEMPTION
Pens are getting called for approximately everything.
Fleury is the only person who has yet to sully himself in this game. FINALLY IT IS KILLED but who knows what we even have left in the tank at this point. Please just don't board anyone.

MOST WATER REFERENCES
Bob Errey literally talked about Phil Kessel drinking water on the bench.

Guess Kessel didn't like it.

EVEN SHORTER LIVED REDEMPTION
Malkin with the giveaway of the year.
JVR buries another.
Kill yourself.
The Leafs are our biggest challenge yet.  Guess the Atlantic sucks dicks now.
Finally someone calls Toronto for something, though.  Maybe it was all worth it.  Maybe.

APPARENTLY GIVING US FITS
Nikolai Kulemin who the fuq let you in here.
Leafs now lead the league all-time since 1897 in takeaways.
If JVR scores again we're unplugging the matrix and killing all of you.

PERIOD THAT MOST SMELLED LIKE DESTINY
To death

not even touching this rn

by the end of the game sutter is on malkin's wing

Tangradi has not seen the ice since early 2nd.  small victories.
Steiggy and Errey go on some rant about Randy Carlyle and all the mink coats he used to have including a mink stole. and how he had a special relationship with the security staff in the Civic Arena because of his mink stole? wtf is happening.
Oh by the way: New rule in the CBA says you can't touch Mike Komisarek.
Everyone is a dick.

Pens end the game with a too many men on the ice penalty, because it's really ironic, since they were playing most of the game with only 4 defensemen and 11 forwards (cc stoosh for that deet).

leafs win 5-2 on some trash goal that could have been avoided if someone had played hockey

Pretty sure the Pens have never won after a ceremony-night at CONSOL Energy Center.

Kinda ridiculous when you think about it.

But we'll be back on the horse soon.

Covered in mink.

INDIVIDUAL AWARDS

PEOPLE WE LIKE

Rob King and Jay Caufield. You do you, guys.

PRETTIEST


ALTERNATIVE THREE STARS

1. Niskanen's hair

2. Joe Vitale. duh.

3. THE CONCEPT OF BOARDING

honorable mention to the sweat sheen on niskanen's perfect face.

we'll see you again soon after we wipe the stench of canada off of our bodies.

GO PENS

Quit laughing.
This game was fun to watch. It pointed out some flaws we need to work on but never concerned us too much with whether or not we would win. 
Seriously, though, quit laughing.
We don't want to get cocky. (Unless "getting cocky" means something totally different, in which place, yes, please, bring on James Neal to administer the...cockiness? This is heavy handed at best, you guys.) 
It's too soon for that.

There's a lot to talk about this evening, so let's just dive on in. 
 

MOST LIKELY TO DIE FROM CHOKING ON DORITO DUST
Before the game starts, we have to remember a few things about where people are in the world of hockey. The past week has been such a whirlwind that we need to readjust to some ideas that never fully settled with us.

Guys. GUYS. It's okay.
Fat Rick is still alive. He's just a Rag now, remember? 
And sure, NYC got rid of those giant slurpee cups but he seems to be getting by just fine without them. 
From the looks of it, his grief is manifesting itself as cramming pudding cups down his fat hole until he passes out from lack of oxygen.
We'd still ride shotgun in his truck. 

RUINER OF FACES, WINNER OF HEARTS
It's two seconds into the game when Tanner Glass and Asham decide to get into it. No one is shocked. 

MAF with his head sticking out on the end there is the cutest little thing.
We were just happy to see it happen. It's been too long since we could get excited about a good 'ol fashioned brawl. 
For the record, Tanner Glass sounds like the name of a child star. We love him endlessly for this and for the  fact that he is a fucking tornado on the ice.
We learned a lot about him tonight, his studies about imperialism being the most exciting and confusing.
And that it's important to say the WHOLE NAME lest we think you are talking about an inanimate object.
Steiggy and Bobby, we missed you so.

MOST OUT OF CONTROL OBSESSION
James decided early in the first period that he wanted us to have a calm and happy evening and get to bed on time. 

Neal gets off a "wicked" (bobby's word) wrist shot on a PP to put us in the lead early.
It was artful.
We know that you know that we often have unhealthy obsessions.
We now need you to know that our thing with James has reached a level where it can only be satisfied by the most sacrilege debauchery imaginable.
We just want to be open about this. Our sexual impulses are at an all time high during hockey season. Condensing it means it could get dangerous.
GOALS LIKE THIS DON'T HELP, MR.NEAL. 

GOAL LEAST LIKELY TO MATTER
Callahan tries to be relevant. 
Somehow manages to get a PP goal. 

We wonder if Wheat Thins will pull sponsorship now that Fat Rick is there, ruining the team BMI. 

Vokoun was fucking great this evening, but Cookie's disappointed father look is priceless in this moment.

Callahan quickly returned to irrelevancy, however, when he got a presidential teabagging.

And if that weren't enough to cast that Rags goal back to the hell from which it came, Niskanen sends one home, Crosby finally getting on the board with an assist, and we go into intermission 3-1.

ELIGIBLE FOR SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNT
We try to be diplomatic about age most times.
 That being said, 30 is when you can start collecting social security, right?
Wait....right?
Let's just ask the Rags, because everyone on their team is fucking ANCIENT. This is like the Assault of the Olds from the Red Wings all over again. 
When, in the second period, Dupes racked up yet another goal on the withering Henrik, he was pulled in hopes that yet another Old could do better. 

Olds are the worst.

(Minus Billy G.
We still want him to wear a robe and slippers and demand we pour him another scotch while he reads the paper. But that's different.)

LEAST MEANINGFUL CHANGE
Biron stepped it up a little. But really, when you're talking one old for another, things can't improve too much.

James Neal, with his perfect, angelic, grandmother-knit-sweater soul makes it 5-1 in the third.


LEAST DOCUMENTED GOALS
At this point we weren't sweatin' it.
Of course, we should always be sweatin' it, because the moment you take to congratulate yourself just may be the moment the Rags decide to grow a pair and act like they've discovered that this wasn't just a fever dream and was a real live NHL game after all. 
Pyatt and Nash both get one in the third to make it 5-3. And then there are a few close calls to boot, but Vokoun locks it down. 
There's currently no evidence of this, but this captured the way we all felt:

NO DADDY RUPP DON'T DO IT TO US
DON'T TOUCH US THERE
NO I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY DEGRASSI AUDITION
(Seriously. Tanner Glass?)

THE CREAMY FILLING WE ALL WANTED
Rags do the logical thing and pull Biron for the extra attacker.
Tanger sails it into the empty net with ease.
We play down the clock.

6-3. Pens win.

INDIVIDUAL AWARDS

THE "WAIT WHEN DID YOU GET HERE" AWARD
We're not saying Tanger was ever bad.
We're just saying he owes us a redemption season to really make our love for him justified. 
And DAMN if he doesn't look amazing out there.
Agile. Smart. No longer the head-case of yesteryear.
We're in love with it.
Not in a sexual way, because we still don't get that aspect of it.
But Tanger is really looking good.

ALL GROWN UP AND WELCOME TO MOVE IN WITH US

We've never gotten the whole sexy-Crosby thing either.
But really, Mr. Crosby, where did you learn to give that look?
Yes, please.

ALT THREE STARS

1. Tyler Kennedy. Can join Letang in the category of looking fucking amazing this season.
2. Fat Rick. Same as Jakub from yesterday. Call your mother. 
3. Tanner Glass. Really exceptional. 

Also, we won't bore you with details of a small porn star obsession, but if you are familiar with the work of James Deen, we are open to creating conspiracy theories that James Neal is the same person. Best Day/Night job combo ever. 

If only it were always a game a day.
Our patience is shit now that games are back.
Already amped for the next time.
Go Pens. 

Could have been better, could have been worse.
But we won.
We're back, bitches. Let's set the tone.


The Penguins came into a building that was loud and, as always, orange.
It makes sense to give awards, since the only thing grosser than wading through that orange sludge is having to master it.

WORST CAPTAIN

I was totally shocked because I'd had no idea they'd made Giroux captain and it entertains me, not because he isn't an unreal nasty hockey player, but because his attitude about life seems to exude pure evil. He really is a perfect villain.
And a terrible captain. Mostly for having a terrible Twitter account and thinking he is the shit.
I died.

THE GOAL THAT SMELLED LIKE REDEMPTION
The Pens get an early PP because Braydon Coburn, one of our favorite summer picnic guests, got it into his head that he was gonna touch Crosby. Refs were calling interference in this game like it was a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Paul Martin blasted one towards Bryz that apparently went off of Tyler Kennedy. Two people who had been the main targets of abuse for a Penguins team that just couldn't "get to their game" hooked up to make the first magic of the season.


That first fucking on-ice hug.
Of course Dupuis was on the ice. He always is for goals that feel like this. 2nd PP unit makes shit happen.

WINTER'S FIRST TRIP TO THE BABY MAKIN' FACTORY
Under three minutes later, Malkin innocently won a faceoff back to James Neal. His release was so quick that half the building probably didn't notice he had scored until it was too late. Bryz was stunned.
No one photographed the goal as they were all too busy rushing to the pharmacy for Plan B. Oh James, oh James. How we have missed you. And your ginger face and your nasty wrist shot.
We like to imagine these ladies were firmly in their seats:

Dude in the upper right had probably already spilled Miller all over himself by this point in the game and was wolfing down some kind of chili dog during the goal. Disappointing turnout, Philadelphia. This is who you choose to show to the nice photographers?

MOMENT IT COULD HAVE ALL UNRAVELLED
Giroux came out and scored like 8 seconds into the second period. We like to examine photos like these:

Claude looks more morose/mysterious than anyone else in the room. Kimmo is just trying to get through the game so he can have peanut butter and Ritz crackers afterwards. And Brayden Schenn is interested, the way clumsy puppies are interested in Frisbees. Giroux is just a sinister ringleader in a band of tragic, potentially dangerous fools.


But the Pens didn't unravel. They sustained some serious pressure and Fleury had to make some spectacular saves.
But they didn't crack.
And there were no stupid fights, no pushing and shoving like guys who are trying to prove shit to each other at the bar.
This isn't to say that between-whistles shenanigans are always amiss at Pens-Flyers games. But this one, it would have looked immature, like we were still dwelling on a really lame fight we got into in the cafeteria in 9th grade (i.e. the entire series last year).

MOST PERFECT SERIES OF ACTIONS

All of those performed by The Honorable Mr. Brandon Sutter, King of Kings.
No really, if any Pens fan thinks we lost on the Staal trade, they can't watch hockey.
The man is brilliant.
We want to sculpt his likeness in black marble and keep it on our lawn.
Second-place, to be sculpted in pink marble, Tanner Glass, who was beautiful on every PK (and there were too many):

credit to some girl's Tumblr

The rest of the second period, and into the third, inspired nothing but fear.
But MAF was a brick wall.

except for the times that he terrified us. which we missed.

God that reminds us to give the GREASIEST AND MOST SLUGGISH GINGER special award to Hartnell jesus christ

MOST MOMENTS YOU LACKED THE ABILITY TO BREATHE

The Pens and the Flyers started taking penalties towards the end of the game and it was enough to kill you dead in a 1 goal situation.
If it was that bad at the first game of the season we don't know if we can survive going forward.
Giroux was the sandwich filling between a horrible interference call on Engo and Gene high-sticking someone.
You knew you were ready for the season when you started SCREAMING at Pierre when, after a VERY obvious trip by Giroux, he was in the middle of jumping on Letang and his hair for some kind of ambiguously illegal hand motion.
Kunitz finally buried the empty net. Everyone exhaled and tried not to pee themselves.
Chris Kunitz is our favorite cannonball.
Kim got a nosebleed from her reaction to this goal.


sorry assholes
3-1
Pens Win

INDIVIDUAL AWARDS WELP

Sid didn't do a ton, except get three shots on goal, play 19 minutes, and be on the ice for Giroux's bullshit and win some faceoffs (65% of them). Didn't light up the world but we didn't need him to tonight.
Let's just hope that the hockey media doesn't see this all as wasted expectations and start bugging us about him all the time for different reasons.

MOST FLEXIBLE SCHENN

whichever one this is we think it's luke


ALTERNATIVE THREE STARS
1. Brandon Sutter. DUH. oh god hold us
2. Jakub Voracek. Please go home to Columbus where you belong is your mother back in Kladno worried when was the last time you called her
3. Paul Martin, 2 assists, NONE TOO SHABBY

the end
get ready to die
go pens

EDITED TO ADD:

HEY REMEMBER HOW ERIC TANGRADI IS SUPPOSED TO BE MALKIN'S WINGER BECAUSE US NEITHER WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT SHIT

someone please send him back to Wilkes-Barre we can't do this all season

go pens

It's coming, closer and closer.
If you woke up this morning on the East Coast and it was snowing balls you got That Feeling, that you couldn't get over Christmas because god was dead: it's hockey season.

• As you already know the Penguins are doing a free scrimmage which is a great opportunity to see the boys if you have no money. A feeling that is no stranger to PH Staff. Also there will be tons of kids there so behave yourself.
  
• Only one other bullet point: Saturday. Holy shit.

some journalist blasted Gene for not talking to him, old news
MVP. enough said.

GO PENS.

Ahhh.
Clicking the text centering button again.
It feels like...
It feels like watching a Flyers fan file out of the arena in the 2nd period, tear-stained "Crosby Sucks" poster under arm.
It feels like not caring that the guy behind you spilled beer down your back because he's wearing black and gold and goddamn if that puck didn't almost tear a hole in the back of the Caps' net just now.
It feels like frantically refreshing after your feed goes out and having it come back just in time to see Malkin pass to Crosby pass to Malin pass to  GOALLLLL!!!
It feels like good friends, late nights, and screaming your throat raw.
Jesus.
It finally feels like hockey season.

It's going to be short, obviously.
It's going to be fast and hard fought.
We will be here with a dick joke every step of the way.
News about us from the extended off season?
Kim bought a home bar, has moved from whiskey to gin, and can still drink you under the table.
Zoë still prefers whiskey and also various pretentious cocktails. She can't drink you under the table but will shout at you from under it.
We assume our alcohol habits are all that matter to you because they are all that matter to us.

More importantly,
THIS TEAM WE HAVE

Sidney Crosby
Is back from riding his trusty camel through the endless desert. Best
shape of his life. Is angry and needy and wants everyone dead. Still bathes in blood of virgins.

Evgeni Malkin
Second in scoring in the KHL. Still a sign from God that Pittsburgh is the chosen land. Is going to crush skulls and worry us when he gets up too slow after collisions. Volumizes with champagne because it gives "big shine."

James Neal
The ginger beard runs free across the plains. Hidden in his fridge, which is probably full of Chobani and spinach and sparkling grape juice, is the Secret, which must be kept at prime operating temperature or else hellfire will rain down. The first one he nets will be from the top of the right circle.

Chris Kunitz
Heard through the grapevine that we took a historically long time to warm up to the idea of him as a Penguin. Now has pictures of us coating his walls, strings leading to points on maps, newspaper articles, and doll body parts. This will be the season he makes us regret ever not being emotionally attached to him.

Brandon Sutter
Lord of the Breakaways. One of the most exciting players on the roster when you realize he spent most of his big minutes successfully containing the likes of Malkin, Ovechkin, and St. Louis. Kid's got attitude. We hear he killed a trucker to unlock the achievement.

Tyler Kennedy
Go ask your mom. We hear he gave her a lot of "information" last night.
Also, fastest man alive, version 9.0

Matt Cooke
Father of the year. Wouldn't hold the door open for your wife. Will be right where he belongs, in the corners and the paint, distracting people with his dubious public image and perfect hands.

Pascal Dupuis
Declined nomination for father of the year because he didn't want his children's cuteness to burn the retinas of the judging panel. Better person than you. Will score his first goal in game 6 on a confusing breakaway and you will cry.

Tanner Glass
Turns his enemies into embellishments for apparel using the BeDazzler. (They get so shiny because he can compress carbon until it becomes a diamond after he has killed them.) Probably going to fuck some people up like this in the coming weeks.

Eric Tangradi
Have you wondered what the terror alert color is recently?
You can thank Eric Tangradi for that. You can also go ahead a pre-stamp envelopes for those "thanks for that assist" letters now.

Craig Adams
Atop Mount Olympus, he presides over his empire with wisdom and grit. We can only imagine that his anger and power is more intense after being directly involved in all of these negotiations. He probably threatened to lay down and block international trade routes to the United States in the middle of various oceans to get this shit done.

Steve MacIntyre
Those sideburns aren't just for show - watch out. We will woo him this season with succulant fruits and exotic cheeses until we know enough about him to form involved sexual opinions.

Dustin Jeffrey
Is alone in the dark. We don't know. Will not share his Butterfinger with you.

Joe Vitale
...has been watching us. And everyone else. From a mountain top. He's been planning his return and more likely than not personally caused the doors to be opened. We're not saying he's God, but he's probably God's favorite son. Water into wine is bullshit next to one of his take-over-the-world shifts.

Paul Martin
Needs a redemption season like we need Tostitos. Maybe will stop taking eyewear fashion advice from Nik Kronwall. One of these days.

Brooks Orpik
Spent his off time sharpening his skates until the point was actually one split atom away from destroying the east coast. Cut through the floors of several practice arenas before realized he had to dull them on several thousand prostitute's throats. The Allegheny rose four inches this off season due to increased "silt deposits." Isn't satisfied yet.

Kris Letang
Incubated himself in light cotton sheathing on the flight back from Russia to maintain his complexion in harsh temperatures. Will not tell the media this, but a chorus of ethereal white rabbits came to him to deliver the news of the end of the lockout. Convinced they were sent by Kimmo Timonen to mess with him. Baptized his child in Armani cologne.

Matt Niskanen
After being declared "in" with us checked his stock daily on celebrity stock exchange. Fell into deep depression after realizing we have no effect on such a thing. Went through crisis involving hair. His emotional state is unimportant to us, but we'll keep you posted on the hair.

Brian Strait
Sticks to your ribs better than Memphis BBQ. No idea if we'll see him again, but we Remember him and Despres managing not to explode during the Flyers series. It will be remembered.

Deryk Engelland
Makes us feel like we've been covered in mashed potatoes from head to toe, for some reason. In a good way. Maybe he'll take us all to the drive-in this spring and then take us home and feed us warmed up leftovers from his mom's mac-and-cheese night. Oh, also he'll break someone's neck before the playoffs. But in a cute way.

Ben Lovejoy
Ain't afraid of no ghosts. Will be there when we need him, trying really hard to do whatever it is that he does.

Marc-Andre Fleury
LOLOL HAI GUYZ I MEESED YOU HAHAHA I CAN'T WAIT FOR ZE JUICEZ I HAVE BEEN PROMIZED LOLOLOL WHERE IS KRIS I HAVE SOMETHING FUNNY TO TELL HIM LOLOLOL

Thomas Vokoun
A white knight for a new generation. Will probably be too busy knowing what the fuck is up to pay attention to our cries in the middle of this hectic season. Will stand on barren fields of battle among corpses at sunset and be unaffected.

We have a good bit of cap space left. No one is really available, but this ain't over.

Now, kick back, relax, go watch the PRACTICE DAY VIDEOS FROM TODAY OH MY GOD MAF LAUGHS WHEN KRIS IS MENTIONED IT IS AMAZING.

We're gonna be right here.
We promise there will be more pictures next time.
We love you.

Oh, and also?
Go Pens.

Apparently.

You will find us huddling in bars, crying into various cocktails and lagers, wondering why it had to take this long.
We've never been more excited to see Sid and Gene before. Seriously.
how about that Brandon Sutter
Vokoun signing
jizz
We'd like to think that posting about the WJC and awakening from our dormant sleep was pure premonition.

Go Pens.

We'd like to bring you our first post of 2013 with some amazing news.

TEAM USA WINS GOLD AT THE WORLD JUNIORS IN UFA
Sweden was pretty good but couldn't quite compete with USA's speed or defensive determination.
Russia won bronze.
Canada went home empty handed and full of beer and tears. (Sorry, we just really can't stand cocky Canadians.)
Standout players of the tournament hailed from Pittsburgh and Columbus, our two favorite places on the planet, and kicked some serious Swede butt. John Gibson is a holy brick wall worthy of Curry. And he's from Whitehall.

The untold story of the tournament is the bizarre cheerleaders that were at every game wearing nobody's colors, and, in the case of the first period of the gold medal game, doing weird pom pom dance routines in front of the crowd WHILE THE PLAY WAS GOING ON.  Was it some kind of aerobics competition or. . .?

Say what you will about "hot ladies" posing as eye candy at hockey games (as PH has many a time), but wtf was going on with this shit?  They appeared to be deranged.  We wonder who hired them.  Please tell us the IIHF wasn't involved.  Oh Ufa.  We'll remember you a long time.

Rocco Grimaldi is like TK if TK were good.
We love you Rocco.

fuck the NHL the NHL is gross.

go pittsburgh

go america

OH NOOOOO THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME OF ANY SEASON EVER HAS BEEN CANCELLED WHATEVER SHALL WE DO
Really it's still hilarious how HBO thinks that the Winter Classic is hockey's greatest stage; idk but I'm almost grateful that we don't have to deal with that bullshit again.
The WC as the League's signature event is great, though, obviously, from a marketing perspective, so whatever.
Every little bit should count.
People have a lot of gross misconceptions about hockey. One day, we'll write the philosophy textbook on sports fandom. In the meantime I hope you have some hot chocolate and a large DVD collection to get you through the winter.
Go Pens.

The lockout has brought them closer to good Russian cooking, and to each other. Both are playing for Magnitogorsk during the lockout. Gonch is living in the "base" apparently which stirs up mental images of him being in some kind of military bunker, wearing fabulous sweaters and smoking a briar pipe next to the ventilation ducts while sipping high-quality vodka and listening to the radio late into the night.

OH GOD WE HAVE MISSED THIS POETRY.

So, we haven't been posting much lately, obviously, because NHL news has been depressing. But now that this non-season is, so far, a reality, we might want to try to get back on the horse. As gently and daintily as possible.

Thoughts, anyone?
Go Pens. Go Metallurg.

It is going to be a long, long summer.

We didn't make it rain. But there's plenty of time.

Go Pens.