We all know the Kafkaesque terror that comes out of playing in New Jersey. Well, someone must have given it tuberculosis because it didn't show up.
The Penguins have won 11 straight. This game had its painful little hiccups. Crosby still hasn't scored; maybe we should trade him. I mean he is kind of too pretty to hang out with the other kids:
Oh, Captain. it's good to see you back and making unattractive faces.
MOST STUNNING AND OCCASIONALLY UPSETTING MOMENTS
Chris Kunitz was awarded a penalty shot early, but Brodeur definitely didn't bite on his move. Like 2 seconds later James Neal scored a goal super early on off of the faceoff. Brodeur was unable to deal with this and it was so shocking that nobody took any pictures of anything. Just a "derp" move by the press.
They did, however, capture this great Pens fans presence in NJ during warmups. We'll take it. It is a sign of things to come.
Oh wait here is a weird picture of Neal as Kovalchuk looks on in soft angst and wonders where his favorite jeans are right now and if they miss him.
Brodeur then made a series of insane saves on Sid. Slapshot, rebounds.
Does Sidney Crosby even seem like a real person anymore? Does he seem more like the unrealistic Baby Jesus of the past? Does he seem like he is being suspended above a stormy ocean looking straight into the eyes of Poseidon, unflinching in his resolve?
Whatever. He's pretty good.
We hear about a terrifying place that Marek Zidlicky once inhabited called "Mike Yeo's doghouse." We can only assume that Sidney Crosby has never been there. What a terrifying idea.
Andy Greene Some kid named Josefson scored a goal that was like barely a goal.
w/e. We had our doubts but they were few. Nothing else really happened.
When Alexei Ponikarovsky shot the puck into the logo.
But Pascal Dupuis runs all of his shifts lately in God Mode. Zero fucks given. His face at having sniped Martin Brodeur is priceless. Some monounsaturated fats undulated out of his orifices as the goal went in. See?
Then, all of a sudden, Matt Cooke emerged from his lair and tipped a shot in.
Brodeur's face tells a terrifying story. Matt Cooke's ass is all up in his business and it is a stunning sight. We love it when people go to the net. Starting to see more and more of the Matt Cooke we know and love, from the past, before all of the Bad Things happened.
MOST AMMUNITION AND WARMEST KITCHEN FIRE
Then. Then! The Pens got a PP. And Crosby, battling along the boards, manages to thread some kind of unbelievable pass to Gene for a one-timer. One of the best passes we've seen in a long, long, LONG time. Jesus Christ.
GATHER 'ROUND THE KIDS, EUGENE
WE MADE IT THROUGH THE WINTER!!!!
By the end of the third, the shots were something like 26-9 Penguins. Seriously.
AS THE ICE AROUND OUR HEARTS MELTS
The sun rose on the 3rd period, which was strange and awkward.
Everyone was out examining the spring seedlings when Petr Sykora frolicked up and made a thing happen.
We were pretty Whatevs about it. We can't get mad at Petey. We just can't.
But it was 4-2, and we didn't want to have some kind of wretched collapse into the depths of the Earth. There is, of course, a win streak at risk here. And embarrassment to the Devils. Which we are sick of.
NEVER THE FUCK YOU MIND, CHILDREN
PENS WIN! 5-2. yup.
The stars are just perfectly placed.
Not Fleury's best game, but it's kind of hard to stay sharp when you only face 14 shots. We understand.
We dare you not to get terrified of Sid's eyes boring into your soul through the visor here.
Who's the pretty one here? Volchenkov, clearly.
ALTERNATIVE THREE STARS
1. Kris Letang - still going strong
2. Matt Niskanen - because
3. Jordan Staal - beast
philly in 10 minutes! go pens.
We all know the Kafkaesque terror that comes out of playing in New Jersey. Well, someone must have given it tuberculosis because it didn't show up.
Oh, you know, the team beating up on the Rangers.
If the Rangers have been playing like this all season we have no idea who they're beating. Like Atlantapeg? The Bruins?
Sad times for the Bruins right now, too, btw. By the end of this game the Rangers just looked frigging demoralized and it had nothing to do with Sidney Crosby, really. Sid was very quiet. Poised and quiet. You can tell he is reeling himself in as he wants to charge through a thousand men, eviscerating them with his broken stick as he puts goals through all of the Vezina winners ever with the sheer force of his mind.
But: like 16 minutes. He is taking it slow. Can still protect the puck like a beast.
We'll see what happens when he gets his flow back.
But the real story of the game was Kris Letang, who logged all of the minutes, and whose hair is actually named The Flow. Maybe.
He was beyond perfect in everything he attempted and was a +5, with 1 assist.
I mean Crosby was good too. +3 and 1 assist.
LOOK AT HIM HE IS SO HAPPY DO YOU SEE
But he just couldn't match the class or offensive prowess of Matt Cooke, who embarrassed Stu Bickel for his first tally and also tipped another one in. Think: without Matt Cooke in this game, very little happens. Also apparently Tyler Kennedy was working on passing the puck this game. Man. Things just keep getting more surreal. It's like someone slipped the Infinite Improbability Drive into the basement of Madison Square Garden.
The team is healthy.
No one died.
Troy and Trina Crosby somehow didn't create a black hole in MSG with their presence.
We got this beautiful photograph of Jordan Staal and Steve Eminger out of the deal. Is this even from this century?
SO BASICALLY HOW COOL DO WE FEEL RIGHT NOW
We have a very tough schedule here at the end. But with enough swagger, we can get it done.
This won't be like last season.
First of all, thanks for the emails and tweets and stuff. It reminds us that people like us. We didn't pause due to drama or anything, we're just real people and this happens to be a busy season.
That said, your requests that we keep on keepin' on reminded us of an obligation.
Some bloggers think fans have an obligation to be consistantly vocal because they grace the internet with their completelyamazingandnewi'msure ideas. We say nay - we have an obligation to YOU. We promised we'd be here, and here we are. You guys are better than the jobbers at some certain places that fill the comments with
"My wife made meatload, what did your make?"
"Lasagna. I have to go to sleep soon."
"Yeah me too. Hope your dog feels better."
We pray that we become forgotten before such codependent chodes fill our inbox with garbage.
You guys fill our inbox with blingees and scary dance videos and jpegs with really concerning topics and horrifying interviews translated from Russian magazines and a passing moment we missed in a game. It's AWESOME.
Every hockey fan should be so lucky. So we try to pass what we get onto everyone. We're going to keep trying for a while. We'll have slumps and hard times, but we promise to give advance notice if we're going to Shut It Down.
ON ANOTHER NOTE:
IS A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION.
Well. Okay maybe not. But still
100.7 occasionally plays this game called "Guess What Evgeni Malkin is Saying."
I'd pretend to be offended, but really, it's kind of a hilarious concept. Well, or would have been if it were 2009 and his english still sucked. As is, I mean, you can kind of tell what he's saying. It's not hard, especially if you use context clues.
So this morning on my way to work, they were playing the game. I don't call radio stations as a general rule of pride, but after too many people had called in and enraged me I called and translated the interview which was just essentially a description of what had happened in the game.
We know there are people who understand you, sweet Evgeni.
Anyway. They asked if I was a "Hockey Ho" which I guess is a misguided attempt at making a phrase like "Puck Bunny." I responded that I was not, but I am a hockey fan.
Should we just assume that all people who listen to a certain kind of music are horrible people?
Maybe we should.
We'll be bringing the laughs back soon. We enjoy you.
We will return to our regularly scheduled broadcast in due course.
Does anyone read our blog anymore anyway? Man, we suck.
Zoë, Kimberly, and Mary.
We didn't watch the Leafs game last night. We were eating bone marrow at Meat & Potatoes, which is located at Penn Ave and 7th.
We imagine that this is actually a lot like what the Leafs game was. Chewing on and reveling in the fat.
This photo courtesy of Ted H. on Yelp. We didn't photograph anything, we were too busy eating.
A very odd picture of Pascal Dupuis and Brian Strait.
Gustavsson did not get any bone marrow.
PH Staff is either sick, busy, in love, or on vacation. Choose 3 or 4. Sorry for the lack of quality blogs. We hope to return to you in a more enlightened state.
I was all set to recap this game in the normal way, but I spent the whole night laid up on the couch feeling pukey.
In lieu of a real recap, I give you a single picture that conveys everything you need to know about this game:
Yeah. It was pretty much like that.
Up next: Toronto and the NBC Sports Network.
Go Pens.no comments
Once again, it's time for my favorite matchup ever. My current favorite team against my previous favorite team? I CANNOT BE SAD ABOUT THE OUTCOME OF THIS GAME!
As always, before every Pens/Avs game, I give you...
MARY'S MOM'S PREGAME COMMENTARY
"Matt Duchene is over an injury and started to score again, which is encouraging. Ryan O'Reilly and Gabriel Landeskog continue to be the best players on the team, and O'Reilly reminds me of Chris Drury as a clutch player."
"The defense is hardly noticeable, and the recent trades sent Kyle Quincey to the Red Wings (of all places!) and T.J. Galiardi (was one of my favorites) and Daniel Winnick to San Jose for others who have yet to do anything stellar because they just got here. Peter Mueller is back from concussion syndrome, but does not play every game, and Semyon Varlamov (goalie) found his legs and has been playing well as of late. So J-S Giguere gets a vacation. Milan Hejduk does what he does, and still has the magical hands, despite his age (just maybe not as often) - because he was never one to get banged up on purpose (think Peter Forsberg), and has a European work ethic, he has lasted well."
From the Denver Post this morning:
"1. Geno (Malkin) is touted as the best player in the NHL, in Crosby's absence.
2. J-S Giguere will start in goal for the Avs.
3. Gabriel Landeskog was named NHL rookie of the month for Feb, and was nominated for the Calder Trophy.
4. Chuck Kobasew will not play this evening.
5. Pens Kris Letang and Tyler Kennedy will not play, as will not Crosby, although he is on the trip.
6. Malkin is described as a leading candidate for the Hart Trophy."
"Time for Geno to shine." - Mary's Mom
Thanks, Mom! Your thoughts are always welcome, and are helpful.
I can't wait for Mom to be in town next weekend; we're going to the Pens/Bruins game.
Seeing the Pepsi Center makes me nostalgic for Denver. Don't get me wrong, I love Pittsburgh and all the people in it and my awesome house, husband, and dog, but I grew up in Denver and I miss it sometimes.
MOMENTS OF EXCELLENCE
After telling us all about his pre-game napping ritual ("At least a couple hours") Asham pulls a ridiculous fucking snipejob and scores.
About a minute later, Engelland redirects a puck out of the air and straight into the net. That thin mountain air must agree with them.
More of this, please, Mr. Engelland
GORDIE HOWE HAT TRICK REFERENCE COUNT: 1
Asham is not content to merely score, but picks a fight with Cody McLeod and prompts some hand-wringing from Steiggy and Errey over his history of concussions.
Mess with the bull and you'll get the horns
A reference to Cal and Ryan O'Reilly being brothers makes me wonder about the other kind of fraternal drinking games in which we might engage.
Everyone knows about the Staal Brothers Drinking Game. It's our claim to fame.
None of the others are as good as that one.
Michalek Brothers Drinking Game when we play the Senators?
O'Reilly Brothers Drinking Game doesn't have the same ring to it.
STAAL BROTHERS DRINKING GAME FOR LIFE
MOMENT WHERE MAGNITOGORSK OWNS YOUR SOUL
I remember a segment from the pregame where Dan Potash mentioned how the top story on the Wall Street Journal today (or maybe yesterday) was all about the Russian elections and Putin and Magnitogorsk, and how everyone "got to see a little of Geno's hometown."
Geno is the best thing ever and I think we all know it.
Nightmare is not really the word that I would use to describe the perfection that is Geno
I hope Mom isn't too busted up about what's going on right now. I'm sorry, Mom, I know someone has to win and it's not always your team. I promise I will not call you and taunt you (like my dad did to me the last time the Pens and Avs faced off).
SHREWDEST MOVE OUT OF THE PENALTY BOX
Richard Park gets sprung and picks up the puck on a clear breakaway. Erik Johnson fails to catch Park as he makes Giguere look RIDICULOUS and scores to make it 4-0 Pens.
You can replay that a million times, and I will always be happy to see it.
MOST PATRICK ROY MOMENT
Matt Cooke drives hard to the net and clips Giguere a little bit as he goes. Cooke goes down and yells something to Giguere as he gets up. Apparently it was something mean about Giguere's ancestry, or family, or something, because Giguere just LOSES HIS SHIT and starts shoving Matt Cooke around.
Matt Cooke for Lady Byng
MOMENT WHEN ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END
Steve Downie proves that it doesn't matter what uniform he wears, he is a Penguin killer. Although the goal really went to Hunwick.
Is it just me or is this the most lackluster goal celebration of all time?
NAIL IN THE COFFIN
Book 'em, Danno
ALT THREE STARS
1. My mom, for going to all the games she can and never, ever leaving early, no matter how out of hand the score might get for her chosen team
2. Steve Sullivan, for he is tiny and awesome
3. Vinho verde, for being delicious
Up next: BizNasty2.0 and the Coyotes.
which is apparently located in Texas.
Look it up in your Rand-McNally atlas if you have any goddamn questions.
MOMENT ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING FELL APART
Nystrom at the very least with an unfortunate and careless play on Kris Letang. Letang didn't come back. This seems to cloud the rest of the evening, to be perfectly honest, but at the very least we got to hear Mike Milbury arguing against head shot culture in which no one is responsible and Roenick crying that it's Letang's fault. Victim-blaming isn't helping anyone's rights in this world, you know, Jeremy Roenick. Just get over it.
What's worst about this hit is Nystrom complaining about getting called for a rough when it's evident to anyone paying attention that he may have injured Kris Letang's brain. Regardless of ~intent~, you kind of just have to feel bad about hurting a guy and hope your team kills the penalty, right? From that moment on, the wheels were off and this felt like, if not a Game 7, at least a Game 5.
The Stars really give you an "oh fuck" feeling when they are on top of their game. Seriously nasty hockey club. It was 1-0 late in the first, your belief in life hinged on the taste of blood in your mouth every time you bit your tongue.
MOST FALLEN SOLDIERS
Sullivan makes one hell of a move and beats Lehtonen before the period is up. But then he'll go to the locker room, too. IT'S EVERYBODY TO THE LOCKER ROOM. WE HEAR THEY HAVE CAKE.
AMERICA CAKE. THIS IS TEXAS AFTER ALL.
I really don't know why I started inserting so much Americana into the blog as if the Penguins do anything "for America" but this cake is still hilarious, right?
PERSON WE KNOW THE ABSOLUTE LEAST ABOUT OF ALL TIME (AND WE'VE NOW CHANGED THAT, SOMEWHAT)
Glen Gulutzan. There is a signed picture of this guy behind the bench? Really?
We have now researched him and have determined that his most memorable life moment is playing for the Brandon Wheat Kings, which just sounds more like some kind of digestive medication every time we hear it.
He's from The Pas, Manitoba.
According to Wikipedia, they even have a town motto: "Adventure Territory" Who the hell is this guy. Is he an impostor? What have you done with the real coach of the Dallas Stars? How long have you even been here?
MOST ADVENTUROUS TERRITORY
Where the puck was, every time it knew it was going to be near the sweet caress of Marc-André.
Like Vern was going to do anything in this game anyway.
Also, Nystrom's continued existence. An adventure in and of itself.
MOST HEARTILY FELT DOOMSDAY SCENARIO
We begged this whole game. Dallas came to play. It was tied. Then we were winning. Then they tied it. Then we were on a 4-on-3 kill in OT. Every minute seemed fate-deciding. I wish I had more to say, but I really don't. This game definitely made me feel like I was in some kind of crazy bizarro universe. Malkin attacked Nystrom, for god's sake:
End of the day, it's just really hard to celebrate even a solid team win when you know that your team lost one of your best players, again, and that they were outplayed for long stretches. We want to make it easier on you, but we can't.
It determines your togetherness as a team if you can continue to play at an extremely high level despite all of these issues. The Penguins have done that. There haven't been quite as many injuries this year as last, so the scenario isn't as bad as eking out a win against the Islanders in SO to get just those two points you need to, say, land Tampa Bay in the first round and get nutsack in your eyes.
I'm not making any sense.
You know what else doesn't make any sense?
That Dallas can afford to dress three guys per night who only play like 5 minutes.
Tomas Vincour, Ryan Garbutt (amazing name btw), and Tom Wandell, who are you?
is this post just explaining our ignorance or are they actually not a full team?
Kris Letang gets all the alternate stars. Geno can bathe in their stardust or whatever.
Did Steve Mason start killing prostitutes because apparently he sucks now and Curtis Sanford's balls are as big as Brent Johnson's last season.
Who designed that background texture on the CBJ site? Really?
Editor's note: Sanford had been hurt for ages so that's why they were starting Stevey. Our bad. They had a reason.
Stevey, we hope you can find a less misogynistic way to get your game back.
At any rate. Jackets acquired Jack Johnson of all people. So that's all everyone's going to talk about until something happens.
did something happen?
do not go gentle into that good night
As much as we love these girls we wonder if Fat Rick is more suited for a non-leadership roll with a larger Cheeto payoff.
Errey talking about Nash being traded while Rick is just sitting RIGHT THERE. Bizarre times.
PERIOD THAT WAS LIKE DRIVING A CAR WITH AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION THROUGH THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS
First period consited of nothing, Thiessen making some little saves, Curtis Sanford a full-on goalbot.
Game just has zero flow.
We just love Derek Dorsett as alternate captain though.
Such a goon move.
Marquee year for that kid. We love him.
Whatever. Then you notice Joe Vitale at the top of the mountain, getting stood up by Jack Johnson.
HE'S A BIG STRONG KID, Joey says.
Sounds a little inappropriate. We don't understand.
BIGGEST SWAYING BRIDGE, TACOMA NARROWS STYLE
Penguins and Jackets exchange penalties, but Sanford is still on automatic. So apparently is Thiessen, he's just a little tinier and a little less tested.
Those pads, what is life.
Malkin, not to be outdone, is also completely unconscious.
Paul Martin gets hit in the head by Derek Dorsett's butt just as the Pens start buzzing and you start questioning whether or not you've been effectively lobotomized by this game.
20-8 are the shots at the beginning of this PP. You're feeling something vicious in your stomach. But that could just be indigestion.
Then God died. Nash alone on Thiessen while the Pens are on the PP.
These photos look so blurry. Is someone trying to make an artistic statement about the nature of impermanence?
Pascal Dupuis took a penalty shortly thereafter. Time for another shorty, guys?
Thiessen making himself look huge. Is it time?
No. No it is not time.
Jackets getting away with some bullshit, but not enough. Plumburger takes down Neal. Back to the drawing board.
TWO MINUTES THAT COULD HAVE MADE YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF
But they didn't.
The late penalty really made all the difference; at least it wasn't a shitty call so we might be able to keep our karmas intact.
After this, we find out that Stamkos has scored, but who gives a shit. Neal found Gene and it's 1-1.
Whoever took this picture had their camera set to some bizarre aperture.
We'll take it.
THE REDEMPTION OF CHRIS KUNITZ?
Scramble in the crease results in a goal that is immediately waved off. No distinct kicking motion or illegal action by Kunitz on the play but WHATEVER.
BUT NEVER YOU FUCKING MIND BECAUSE
Staal and Dupuis will go to work and get one legally. Sneaky shot.
Get the fuck out.
With 10 minutes left the Jackets dig their own grave by taking some stupid slash penalty. Brassard an idiot right there.
Letang immediately scores but it's waved off yet again because Kunitz was within 10 miles of Sanford's crease.
Just one of the worst calls possibly in history. Totally looked as if referees just weren't paying attention. Or maybe they thought the Penguins had some kind of unfair advantage and it was clouding their judgment? Columbus played balls out.
Letang gets it back though. 3-1.
NAIL IN THE COFFIN THAT WASN'T
Joey V puts one in for the People and Posterity.
Jackets come back and Prospal snipes it.
It's 4-2 before you can breathe and take the breadsticks out of your mouth.
Time-out Columbus with an O-zone faceoff, less than 2 left.
Gotta think Thiessen or Paul Martin needs to be handed the puck. For funsies.
Except not. Jackets took a penalty, and the world was restored to a state of less tension.
Also, apparently the press only showed up to take pics of Jack Johnson and Fat Rick because we've got nothing.
The Great Brad Thiessen, Demi-Curry, and #1 in our hearts now, gets his first NHL Win.
Poor Rick Nash.
Poor Jack Johnson.
Only half of us will be going home happy.
Thiessen's first NHL win, as represented in Blingee medium by [stapler]:
don't hate us because we're beautiful.
The real three stars were Thiessen, Sully, and Duper.
So we have to go with:
1. Jack Johnson. Logged huge minutes and at least tried to be there.
2. Malkin. How often is it that we have to give an alternate star to Malkin? Jesus. Dude is on fire.
3. KTang. Blocked almost as many shots as he released.
mmm dat cannon.
Seriously, when we said that we knew this game was going to be less of a perfection show than the last, we had no real idea what we were saying. I still think it was correct - this wasn't pedigree, this was just a crazy blowout. This was sticking it to someone. This was making a statement.
We have to ask the Islanders: What the hell happened out there?
How can we make it keep happening forever and always?
MOMENT(S) YOU KNEW YOU WERE IN FOR A GOOD SATURDAY
Maf was on FIRE from the get go.
In the first ten minutes we get amazing toe saves, way-out challenging, and good old staying close to the posts goaltending, all exactly where we needed it. Flower was READY.
When your goalie is that on, you just pray that your team follows suit and doesn't leave him hanging.
LEAST GUILTY OF LETTING MAF HANG
The entire team, really.
But mostly the moment you knew that this wasn't going to be an all-goalie game was when Kunitz lasered one into the Lightning net with intensity usually reserved for individuals enacting revenge on the murderer of their wife and/or child.
Also, let's stop this "Bolts" nonsense.
You picked a name.
Get over it.
THE SHORTEST 50 SECONDS
It's almost inconceivable that 50 seconds has come and gone when you ONCE AGAIN have to start screaming again. You'd barely just stopped, god damnit.
Cookie throws it in top shelf when we are hardly looking at the screen.
He isn't showing those happy teeth because he's thinking "man I hope someone else doesn't steal this glory in the next 50 seconds."
MOMENT YOU MADE EVERYONE IN THE ROOM SHUT UP BECAUSE YOU KNEW SOMETHING IMPORTANT WAS HAPPENING
There comes a time in games like this where it becomes clear that we are on some sort of "roll."
This is when you stop browsing your text messages between plays, ignore that you haven't downloaded today's free app from the app store (some boring parking game today anyway, screw it) and advise your cat that the safest place to sit for the next few hours may not be your lap.
If I were at this game live I think I'd have demanded a paycheck for all of the jumping I had to do for the good of the team.
Anyway, back to the point.
Jordan Staal nabs himself an unassisted shorty on a breakaway from the gods.
This is superstar stuff, people.
This is what Max Talbot's wet dreams are made of.
When something like this happens, you hold the phones.
That face says it all.
That face says "I had your sister when she was still good."
That face says "I'll tell your wife you said hello after the game."
Everything a face can say about banging a female member of another man's family, that face says.
Even WE'RE kind of afraid.
WEIRDEST REOCCURING PHOTOGRAPHY THEME
This photo is slightly different than the other.
Let's see if you can spot the differences!
Yes, taken on different nights, these are in fact not the same photos or even from the same group of photos.
So is this the new thing?
Do we get one of these every game?
We're kind of distubed.
So you remember the MAF show at the beginning of the first?
Well, if you don't, or if you were out buying nachos and beer, it's here again.
You watch another glorious ten minutes pass as MAF couldn't possibly be hotter.
WORST DAY EVER
Once the team remembers that it's safe to do things other than watch MAF and wistfully think of the days they could have chosen to be a goalie - oh! the glory - they get back to doing what they do best, which is apparently making Roloson look like a drunk kitten trying to guard his poorly marked territory.
Roloson would seriously have had a better time getting some Fayette County hookers today.
PLAYER WHO HAD TOO MANY GOALS TO CELEBRATE INDIVIDUALLY
The media didn't even pretend to care about the first Malkin goal, which was beautiful and geometrically unpresidented.
We'll celebrate the gloriousness that is Malkin, but we can wait a second, because he is a reoccuring character in this little number.
THROAT YOU'D MOST LIKE TO PUNCH
Months from now, weeks, maybe even days from now the world will forget what a horrible thing you did here, robbing a man of a most-deserved shutout, trying to pretend your team had a shred of dignity left in it.
I am here today to let you know that we don't forget.
Consider this a grudge.
THE "PANTIES OFF TO YOU" AWARD
Malks gets two more goals - neither make it look too easy to do what he does, but that's the great thing about it - we get to see how hard he wanted it.
CHERRY ON TOP
Dupes gets the last word to make it 8-1.
Media has too much semen in its eyes; misses it entirely.
BEST SHAKEN SPIRIT/CHEAPEST SEATS
While the Pens typically deal with loss through puns and introspection, the Lighting website showed a different way of dealing with things.
LIGHTNING 1 PENS 8, POST GAME
Quickly burried by stories about upcoming games, all ominously placed under an advertisment advertising "all you can eat seats, $35."
We'd weep for them. If we cared enough.
ALT THREE STARS
1. Photographer in charge of those Malkin shots. What is in your mind, sir or madam? Do you think you have finally found your niche?
We find it fascinating.
2. Fans attending this game. We salute your services and hope you found time to drink your beer between all of the jumping out of your seats.
3. Sidney Crosby. For making us able to laugh at other people and say "And that's just us WITHOUT Sid!!!"
Let's do this again real soon.