No explanation for life right now. Mark Recchi and his many children came into CEC last night and ate our brains. It's back to Montreal tomorrow. I'd provide you with more information, but restricted Internet access blows. Did I mention my hard drive crashed? Thank Curry the PH strongholds are scattered all over the globe. Rumor has it that if you collect all parts of them, you assemble a gun that can kill a Time Lord.
fuck bitches get money
It's been over a week since the Winter Classic, and we now feel that we can examine this footage with an appropriate critical eye. And find the valuable nuggets of information therein.
1. Nothing like fake snow painted on turf to make it feel like winter.
2. We forgot Mike Green grew up in CGY. What is it with people from Calgary and Vespas.
3. Pascal still has pretty eyes even when his face is a little messed up.
4. Oh look, they found the one vantage point in Heinz Field where you can really see downtown. HOW QUAINT.
5. So this is what they meant when they said "CEC won't have an organ." So it's not an organ. Keyboards are less clunky. SUP ORGANIST.
6. This Atlanta game feels like approximately seventeen years ago.
7. So, oddly, does seeing Sid play. And Mario literally says "c'mon Sid" on this play. Adorable.
8. When Nathalie gets dressed, she gets *dressed* Dear Nathalie, how did you get to be so hot? Love, PH.
9. Yet another perfect screenshot. Kuni is beautiful. Jordy looks sharp. And Gene is hilarious.
10. Jackson Cooke, do you want to be our wardrobe consultant?
11. OH MY GOD HE MATCHES HIS DADDY WE CAN DIE NOW BYE
12. These brief glances into the CEC parking garage are probably the only times we're going to get to see the boys walk to their cars. Imagine the yells if Mattie comes out with Jackson in matching suits at Mellon Arena. Jackson would get to wave to the girls and feel like a stud. We miss the wall.
13. Ovechkin continues to be a useful locker room presence and flaps his junk around in this startling sequence.
14. HOW FUCKING OFTEN CAN THE POTOMAC POSSIBLY BE FROZEN
15. Overuse of Mike Green in this episode is possibly its downfall. Don't even remember what he was talking about. Probably frolicking on outdoor ponds.
16. YES BRUCE THERE WILL BE A GLARE THERE IS A THING CALLED THE SUN
17. Thank god nobody wore eyeblack.
18. Bruce also calls his team "shitbums." Amazing.
19. The Isles game also feels like forever ago. Can DiPietro get over himself plz.
20. We miss Sid's stache. Not lying.
21. Yes, of course, Jordan wants to play in the OMG BIGGEST GAME OF THE REGULAR SEASON. We're still trying to find out how more than team morale and 2 points is on the line in a Winter Classic.
22. Jordy's hair cannot hide.
23. Rejean made a funny. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT DAN. Oh Rejean.
24. Bruce is still a picture of inspiration in those sweatpants.
25. Washington wishes it had this.
26. Of all the descriptors we'd use for Evs, "small head" is not one of them.
27. Nothing on this earth could make Eric's face less pretty.
28. FUCKING FUCKFACE is the best insult.
29. And it totally got to Jordy. So sensitive.
30. Seriously, getting your team riled up by calling the opposing team "pricks" is such a high school tactic.
31. We never wanted to know that Campbell's colleagues call him "Coli."
32. Caps' New Year's party was lame.
33. Mike Green, we have Diet Coke and dinner every night. Please take that stupid scarf off too.
34. EXCUSE US WHY IS OUR CITY SO PERFECT
35. Aaand Sid looks 14 again. You're welcome.
36. Epic cameo by the Carnegie Science Center.
37. Look at Alex, being all useful again.
38. No. Just no. Not allowed.
39. Sid is sick of you filming his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
40. Nothing gets us pumped like Craigsy's face.
41. Whatever Bruce said, it was working, even though it sounded stupid.
42. Sid was already like, "Oh boy, what the fuck is this shit, better not look too cynical over here."
43. We love this move by Sid.
44. Gratuitous fat goalie shot was perfectly placed.
45. IT'S WAY DIFFERENT THAN ANY OTHER REGULAR SEASON GAME PEOPLE. WE HAVE DRUMMERS>>>
46. Ted knew it was his lucky day.
47. Dan is the best-dressed coach in the NHL.
48. Ref telling Ovechkin not to leave his feet is hilarious. Everyone knows he does it. It's a bad habit apparently, like nail biting.
49. Sid making points is hilarious.
50. Looks like a porn still.
51. Dear HBO, is there any possible way you can just give your cameras and production crews to NBC for their hockey broadcasts?
52. Pens lost because Danny said "fuck" too much.
53. OH LOOK AN APPROPRIATE TIME FOR AN AERIAL SHOT
54. Happy Gene is the best Gene.
55. When Max finally retires and becomes a color commentator, he's going to have great fun mocking referees.
56. How easy was it to forget in our rage that the Caps got the GWG off of a reprise performance of Marc-André's Behind-the-Net Adventures?
57. Still get pissed watching this play.
58. And this play. Hrrrr.
59. LOOK LOOK HE IS CLEARLY EXTREMELY CONCUSSED CLEARLY WANNA KNOW HOW I KNOW BECAUSE I CAN SEE HIM RUBBING HIS FACE ON TV
60. Didn't work.
62. Ovechkin demanding that goal was laughable.
63. THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN A TEAM WINS THE JANUARY STANLEY CUP.
64. We wanted to win it too. But it's whatevs.
65. BUD LIGHT TALL CAN DRINK OF CHAMPIONS
66. Somehow HBO has transmogrified Heinz Field into the "grandest stage" in hockey. Bullshit.
67. Oh that garbage at Heinz Field is terrible look how empty and sad it is everything is over no soul shall grace the interior of this stadium ever again OH WAIT THE NFL EXISTS NEVER MIND. sigh
We wish HBO could have stayed around a little longer to capture Danny's postgame speech to the boys after the Wild game. But alas.
Heading to CEC tonight to see the Bruins.
Tuukka to get the start.
Let's give the milk crates something to be afraid of.
Everyone is calling OMG TRAP, but hey, let's be honest, trapping is one thing, but the amount of room the Wild had to make plays at endless points throughout the game was something completely different. They were throwing their weight around, and while the Pens were often going in for hits and trying to work hard, they failed to play a smart, composed positional game when they did have opportunities in the zone. Nor did they crash the net on Theodore nearly enough. And that's what happens, and that's how you get frustrated and wish that you could go back home and have your mommy make you hot chocolate.
All the more hate to bring into Monday's game. Everyone needs a bounceback.
NOW: if our demands are met, we won't raze the entire midwest and nation of Canada with fire:
Jose Theodore must cease and desist with all voodoo mind control.
Cal must be assessed at least one major penalty per game for continuing to exist, be removed from any and all PP units (because seriously, what a joke), and be forced to deliver gift baskets of Tostitos to all members of PH staff on their birthdays for the rest of eternity. We will personally absorb the energy of the time vortex and ensure that he can never die so that he can continue to provide this service for our children, grandchildren, et cetera.
SOMEONE should provide us with a 550mb .avi download of episode 4 of 24/7 tonight so that I can recap it tomorrow. Enough bold tags for you? Whoever failed to upload this to the usual torrent sites because the Pens lost the WC is a total asshole.
Maybe it was because everyone else was frustrated and awkward, but MaxTal had a lot of step in his game tonight and was an excellent penalty killer, with 4 shots, 3 of which came on the PK. We are giving him all the gold stars and filling his steam shower (assuming he has one) with scotch. We will fill Brooks Orpik's with blood.
We are also giving Zbynek Michalek the Hottest Voice Award re: his postgame comments to FSN, and propose this photo of Todd Richards for your photoshopping purposes:
click above for full size.
k, it's over.
That's right, you heard me.
Speculating about when Sid's concussion occurred is indeed perfectly acceptable among the fans and media, don't get me wrong. Hell, even yell at David Steckel and Victor Hedman--we're fans, we don't have to necessarily be professional; as long as we keep our comments harmless and try to keep it classy, there's no harm no foul.
Unfortunately, the shitstorm surrounding Sidney Crosby's mild concussion, folks, is coming from people who do have a professional obligation: that is, members of the media. And any fan who would consider himself or herself able to speak knowledgeably about the circumstances surrounding the concussion isn't helping.
First off, you're going to get a more severe head injury than Sid's when you slip and fall on an ice patch on the way to your car tomorrow morning. This is by no means a big deal, and you kind of have to be surprised that it took Sid this long in the NHL to get concussed. He has a target on his back on a nightly basis. The Steckel hit looks different depending on camera angle and the Hedman hit is your usual boarding call any day of the week, perhaps more, but whatev, what's done is done, and what's important is that the Penguins have given us a diagnosis and a timetable for Crosby's return, and we should be hoping that he gets better soon. (Never mind the legions of assholes in the world who would have preferred that either the Steckel or Hedman hit took Crosby out of the game for good--we at PH don't wish that on anyone, not even Tomas Holmstrom.)
But, like many things involving our beloved game's star players, everything seems to be taken a bit too far. The speculation has turned into a half-assed, ill-informed media witch hunt against the Penguins training staff and team doctors. This is just a continuation of a situation we've been dealing with for awhile, i.e. the hockey media is largely an unbelievable wreck, bereft of quality writing, responsible reporting, and an appreciation of the game that does itself justice beyond garnering website hits, selling papers/magazines, and causing ruckus on Twitter. I mean, we all love being retweeted.
The Pensblog has comments and screenshots of tweets from the usually-solid Darren Dreger and some dude named John Shannon, both of whom seem to have placed this pervasive notion in everyone's heads that Crosby was injured by Steckel.
And this leads to the circus. Courtesy of Mike Colligan at The Hockey Writers and his Twitter account, we have this egregiously stupid article by Cam Cole at the Vancouver Sun which takes us into some kind of ethical mire. No, Cam Cole, we will never know what exactly caused Crosby's concussion, or when it happened, because we are not Sidney Crosby's head. It is, in fact, we'll remind you yet again, a mild concussion which likely had mild symptoms. If Sid didn't feel okay to play at any point, he wouldn't have played, regardless of when this injury was actually sustained. It is motherfucking January, people. And anyone who has watched Sid's career day in and day out for years knows that he has no history of trying to play when he's not physically ready to play. He sat out almost an entire period in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final because he knew he was hurt. He is a responsible player who clearly has some of the best people in sports medicine looking after him on a daily basis.
If you believe Cam Cole, not only are viewers at home apparently more qualified to diagnose this ~*~*~HORRIBLE INJURY~*~*~, but the medical staff who tends to him has some kind of motive, conscious or otherwise, to overlook his symptoms and keep him playing in the middle of the regular season?
What Cam Cole has suggested is irresponsible, more irresponsible journalistically than Sidney Crosby's trainers and doctors will likely ever be medically.
The utmost concern must be given to the safety of our game's players. But crying conspiracy and trying to act like the Penguins are muddying the truth to the detriment of all goes beyond that concern for safety. No idea what Cam Cole is trying to do here. Whatever it is, it's heinous from a writing perspective.
Hats off to Greg Wyshynski, who handled this situation with journalistic responsibility.
Official word from the Pens on Crosby's injury.
Anyone who is going to sensationalize this injury needs to get their priorities straightened out.
And yet another round of applause for Megan for blogging through a loss to the Canadiens. Seriously, standing ovation.
And let's hope that Matt Cooke's "personal reasons" weren't screwing another referee's wife. Har har. Hugs, Mattie.
Go Pens. And get well, Sid.
With LaPierre traded, and Markov, Gorges, and Hamrlik out with injuries, the Habs don't quit look right. That would be awesome except we don't look right either. With Cookie absent and Crosby injured, you've got a bad feeling about this game.
Wait, WHO is injured?
MOMENT YOU THINK THIS GAME IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE A KICK IN THE SACK
ZOMG WHERE IS SID?!?! Cue the buckets of tears. BUCKETS.
After a hit from Victor Hedman in Wednesday's game, Sid is out with his very first concussion. It's sort of like baby's first steps, except HORRIFYING.
Yeah, I would scrap book this memory right beside First Stanley Cup and First Real Facial Hair, if only this didn't make me want to puke.
Estimate time of return: 1 week
Cookie is also missing, but that doesn’t really induce the same panic driven hysteria. It is a downer though and he's home for "personal reasons", so let’s all take a second to feel sad and hope everything is fine at home for Cookie Monster.
MOMENT YOU START COVERING YOUR SACK
Errey is kind enough to inform us that BJ has never EVER beaten the Habs. Ever. He did note that Price is a “pretty darn good goaltender” though. Thanks for the confidence booster there, eh. Not like we were a little on edge or something with Sid being out.
IS NOT HERE
MOST ENDEARING SAD-BROWS
We score early and you’re never going to believe this. It’s Asham, I shit you not. This is the point where I would continue to poke fun at him, but he was actually really solid this game. Also during his interview with Dan during the 1st intermission, he was so damn humble and awkward that it can’t help but love him. Between his slightly lopsided smile, that HAIRBAND, and the way he always looks like someone just stole his lolly, I just want to give him another goal and a pat on the head. And another lolly.
FUGLIEST KOSTITSYN (NOW THAT’S FUGLY)
Letang full out trips Kostistyn who’s on a break away, but the refs were too disgusted by Andrei’s Hunchback of Notre Dame mug to look at him, so no call.
No, not that one. You’re looking at Sergei because you subconsciously refuse to look at Andrei. Andrei is the poor bastard with a bald spot at 25.
Errey and Steigerwald spend a while talking about how awesome it is when Crosby is playing, how not awesome it is to be without him, and how much more awesome it would be if he were here.
IS STILL NOT HERE
IF YOU HAVE TO STARE AT CAM'S ASS, THIS IS THE WAY TO DO IT
Made my night.
1st period goes to the Pens, outshooting the Habs 13-5. Can we call that a game now? No? Damnit!
BEST REASON FOR WATCHING THIS GAME
Geno gets some chances. Stuff happens sort of. But I’ve got to be honest, I’m getting bored. Someone needs to put Cammy into the bench again. What’s that Dan? Hal Gill is on the front cover of the Quebec edition of Elle? Not bored now.
There is no hiding the fact that this is ridiculous. ReDONKulous even. Gionta is owning that 'formal leprechaun' look and Camel is clearly shooting for '85 year old who plays canasta because his arthritis can't handle shuffleboard anymore'.
To Hal’s credit, no one on that cover rocks urban chic as well as he does. Of course, that’s like being the hottest contestant on The Biggest Loser.
He is wearing a really nice jacket though. Srsly
GOAL I MOST WANT TO SKIP OVER SO IT ONLY GETS 1 LINE
The Habs are gradually picking up momentum, but it’s okay because the Pens are doing nothing about it. Nothing at all.
Aaaaaaaaand Pouliot picks up a rebound to tie it.
And the downward spiral continues in the 3rd.
BEST JUMPING JOHNSON
Cammy goes sliding into the net, but thanks to an interception by Orpik, the puck doesn’t. However, Camel (what a stupid nickname) did convert his attempt into this hilarious photo, so he did get something out of it.
Just in case you missed it the other eleventy billion times, Steigy and Errey remind us that Crosby was recently beat to shit 2 games in a row, is not here, and life sucks without him.
IS SOMEWHERE ELSE
And just in case that didn’t punch you right in the gut, we take a shit storm of overlapping penalties. 3 penalties in 1 minute, 44 seconds. That’s almost 4 minutes of PK and a full 2 of 5 on 3. All might be lost except for...
Thankfully Adams is a HERO. No, srsly. Like with powers and stuff. His superpower is to not have a broken body after lots of blocked pucks tried to break his body. Please come up with a better superhero name than Craigman. After all, the Habs only managed 1 shot on net during that whole flurry of feces.
OT & SO
Still tied at 1-1, we head into OT.
Geno’s pissed that Gionta didn’t take a penalty for poking his foot out from under him and his Russian Rage translates into some crazy tricks, dribbling the puck through the air to get past a few defensemen. It doesn’t actually work, but it looked cool. Johnson makes a big save and that’s the only shot registered in OT.
You can tell our boys are trying, but everything after the 1st has been like trying to pull up on the nose during the inevitable plain crash that is this game.
No one scores until the 5th round, where Pouliot puts it away and Kunitz can’t tie it.
Alternative 3 Stars
2. Duna duna duna duna Craigman!!
3. Elle Quebec
Don’t kill yourself. A 1 week recovery time for Sid means that it's a mild concussion. Not a big deal.
I know, I know. I miss him too.
If you need a pick me up, please note that the Caps are currently in 5th. No home ice advantage. Drink in their pain. Drink it right in.
And who's 1st? Oh yeah us.
Hot date with Mr. Clutterbuck Saturday
first Hair League update of the new year!
Also, Megan City to handle the Montreal game tonight.
We love her.
We hate these sniveling dickwads:
this is the Pens' chance to show that they are bringing the hate in 2011, as opposed to just pouncing gleefully on an exhausted opponent.
Your cat grooms itself more vigorously than Tampa Bay played last night. Reason why it was 8-1.
Never expect a blowout.
No expectations before this game, you were just excited to see the Pens play. And they delivered. They did what they came out to do, and more, starting 7 seconds in.
We learn early on that the unthinkable has been done, that Orpik has been stripped of the A and it has been given to Staal.
I mean shouldn't they have taken it from Gene for being, you know, lazy?
First shift of the game, Gene took over the world. We're not going to say he's not a purely emotionally driven hunk of man who has problems being consistent. But hey, that was pretty cool.
7 seconds in. Almost a record but Jean Provonost has that. Fastest goal to start a game in the NHL since 1998 so whatev.
OLDEST DWAYNE ROLOSON
Shortly thereafter, Lovejoy blasts one, which is tipped by Conner.
You then realize that the pregame locker room talk must have been amazeballs because Goligoski actually takes a shot. Checkmark that play. Roloson is shaking violently, might need an oxygen tank.
When Tyler Kennedy flew into the zone off of some amazing heads-up pass by Letang, seemingly had 384932 lanes, and skated it down almost to the goal line to shoot. Because that's just what TK does. It went five hole on Roloson. The reasonable conclusion is that he knew what he was doing.
and everyone is all "nbd"
WHAT DAN ELLIS MIGHT CALL GENOCIDE
When Kunitz snipejobs him on the first shot he faces all night.
Being rich is hard, ya'll.
Pens continue to take over the world, everyone's life is hard, especially for Gagne, who rapes Fleury at some point. again, nbd.
OH DEAR WHAT A LITTLE BIT OF CONFIDENCE CAN DO
Pens are cycling, draw a PP.
Goligoski shoots and actually hits the net. You'd say miracle, but it looks like Kunitz touched it a bit, too.
Kunitz had so many goals in this game that we can't even differentiate what pictures are from which goals.
Suffice it to say, we think that Dan Ellis could do with a biscuit.
BIGGEST HOLE IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM
A ticky-tacky penalty shot call in favor of Stamkos, who has the opportunity to jumpstart Chernobyl at CEC. . .
He doesn't even seem pissed about it. We don't know why this is. There are myriad options. Maybe he is used to failure. Maybe he realizes that the milk has already been spilled. Maybe he is just mature? Brother Steven, tell US.
Errey called the play "justice."
SOMEONE GET ROLOSON HIS WERTHER'S ORIGINALS
After both teams poke around awhile, Letestu swoops in and makes an adorable backhand after being fed masterfully by TK. It was, you have to admit, TK's last chance, and he got himself a new lease on life. Wish we knew how Danny B was grading him tonight.
SIGN OF THE TIMES AWARD
Bob almost gets hit in the puck.
"Steiggy, I tellya, it's dangerous," he says.
He wants to give it to the crowd.
"I just tossed it over, got about 5 guys spilling beers."
Some girl gets it, gets out her fancy phone so her friend can take a pic. Fancy phones are taking over the world.
PUTTING OUT FIRE WITH GASOLINE
After Hedman decides to be a joke and board Crosby, the Pens go to work in the final minute of the 2nd.
Gogo sends a puck Kunitz's way yet again, and it goes in again.
It takes awhile, but everyone knows what's up.
LOOK IT'S A FUN AND EXCITING MEMBER OF THE PENS' ICE CREW
good job, press.
MOST BIZARRE PERIOD IN YEARS
The Lightning come out flying for the third period. Dan Ellis is back in net, because I mean, that's helpful. Right, Guy Boucher?
Ryan Malone pulls a power move that almost makes Steiggy poop himself. Martin made sure nothing happened, though. Adam Hall does eventually crash the net and get the goal, though, and it's 7-1. Still time for Chernobyl. But Alex Goligoski was also driving the net on a 4-on-1 rush.
wrist shot city
OH WAIT BUT ONE MORE THING
"Downie just patted Rupp on the butt for some particular reason. I don't know what that means. Then he tried to trip him." - Bob Errey on #9 Steve Downie.
back to normal, except this isn't normal, is it?
ALTERNATIVE THREE STARS
1. Uncle Jordy, for being relatively solid in his first game in CEC. +2. 61% faceoffs.
THERE IS ANOTHER GAME TOMORROW AND I STILL HAVE TO RECAP 24/7 HOWEVER WILL I GET THINGS DONE.
I'll figure something out.
Pens finally play tomorrow. Feels like at least a decade and a half since the WC.
someone named Josh Yohe wrote an article about the boys complaining about Steckel.
Come on guys, get over it. Do you want us (or David) to make you dinner and say sorry?
Minnesota at NJD is on Versus as we speak. Aside from the presence of Hedberg, it is easily the most boring game of all time.
Lightning tomorrow. Brother Steven sit down.
will update hair league too, promise.
Go Pens.no comments
If you're a Caps fan or a Penguins fan with a brain, it probably really set in over the weekend that celebrating hockey is something you have to do on your own. The Winter Classic was indeed an amazing, primetime event. But between shoddy NBC camera work, completely incorrect weather analysis, and the lack of focus to the broadcast, it was disappointing to say the least. Most people who didn't go are probably glad they didn't deplete their bank accounts in order to go. Much of the game was boring, peppered with bad mistakes that led to goals. Gene scored on the first breakaway he's ever scored on ever, felt like, but damn. What a boring game.
And what embarrassing play by the Penguins. CLEARLY THEY DIDN'T REALIZE THAT IF THEY WON THIS GAME IT WOULD BE LIKE WINNING THE CUP. Boudreau should have reminded them. January. Fuck.
No, what really made this game special was the sheer number of fans and the sheer energy that they put into seeing this game: traveling to Heinz Field, tailgating for nine years in the rain until the game could start, some staying in the city for days from out of town so they could support college hockey, each team's AHL affiliate, and the Alumni Game. Without the fans, this is nothing. Still, fans must have realized on a large scale, whether trying to see the ice through the downpour at Heinz or trying to see the puck from like a mile above the clouds and fog on NBC, that the NHL forced this game in order to make money. We're not saying it's wrong and we're not saying it was a catastrophic idea. Just not the idea that we would have come up with. And that the fans didn't need it. They know how to hate, and love, and get pumped for these teams. The OMG WINTER CLASSIC bullshit overshadowed the actual rivalry between these two clubs. It was little more than a fever dream in the cold, wet night.
The world is kind of lol'ing at Pittsburgh a bit now.
We're excited to see the next episode of 24/7, even though it will probably piss us off, just because we want to see the locker room reactions legit from the Penguins.
We don't think they will embarrass themselves. Let's just say that much.
For now, here are 43 things we learned from episode 3. Valuable life lessons to take with you for the rest of your life, as a hockey fan and beyond:
1. Reason #38403 why Mike Knuble would be a better captain than Ovechkin: he sacrifices his body and doesn't complain. Compare to, say, the last time you saw Alex getting medical attention. Hooo
2. Also, Brooks Laich. Says that leadership is manifested through display of work ethic. Wow. Valid question: does Ovechkin even know why he is captain?
3. HBO really captures the fatness of Uncle Dad.
4. Idiotic Caps fans in hi-def: something you can preserve and show your grandchildren. Sad thing is, the guy in the background to your right saying CROSBY SUCKS might have actually been a fan before Ovechkin was drafted. Look at what the franchise has done to him.
5. Fights are always better in HD slow-mo.
6. We'd still hit it.
7. Maybe they were by December 31st. Shouldn't have beaten them that one time. HRRRR
8. "You look awesome. Girls love." = Gene quote of the decade.
9. Max is lol'ing at Washington on the way to the airport. Damn he loves those cameras in his car. WONDER WHY
10. Brent is a hero, and Goose is a bit embarrassed that he isn't as holiday-inspired.
11. Everything about this screenshot is perfect.
12. Yes, Benny, we can in fact tell that you got hit.
13. Compassion in the Caps organization amounts to not telling a guy he's on IR until after the big game??
14. Even Boudreau knows to tell his players that Gene takes stupid penalties if you poke him too hard. GEEEEEEEENE.
15. Mattie and Paulie look slightly in love but then again Mattie tends to look slightly in love with everyone.
16. Godsy and Engo eat spaghetti dinner together.
17. Remember this game? What on Earth was going on in this sequence.
18. Ovechkin yelling about a penalty is like a kid yelling that he got three Xboxes for Christmas instead of four.
19. Brooks yelling about penalties is like a man demanding his sausage gravy. Much sexier.
20. Sutherland's reaction to the Caps' timeout coordinator getting a puck to the face was hilarious. DID THEY AT LEAST GET HER THE PUCK
21. GREEN YOU PUSSY. thanks HBO
22. FUCKING FUCK. Repeat: does Ovechkin understand what captaincy is?
23. Okay Sid swearing is just hilarious and awkward and a little bit wrong. But maybe the Caps should compare footage and see the Crosby to Ovechkin whine ratio? Just in this episode. Just in this game. FUCKING FUCK
24. not even going to touch this one.
25. Let's get this bitch = about the coolest thing one could ever say before walking away.
26. Maybe he's captain because he's a good cheerleader. Still uncertain.
27. How Chris King manages to talk with that toothpick in his mouth is much more impressive than most video review decisions he's laid down, pretty sure.
28. Seriously, wouldn't you rather have Dupes on a breakaway or shootout at this point than Malks? Malks needs extra home cookin'. Winter Classic goal was awesome though, BUT WE'RE NOT THERE YET FOLKS.
30. oh my god really not sure how Boudreau is allowed out of his own house.
32. Boudreau really doesn't care about what he is getting his wife for Christmas for some reason.
33. Eric Fehr won the Winter Classic for the Caps because he gave presents to this adorable baby.
34. OMG we seriously want to have Swedish Christmas Eve with Nicklas Backstrom. Not even kidding.
35. All the outdoor shots of Pittsburgh in winter were enough to bring a displaced resident to tears. Thank Curry I'm home for the holidays.
36. Where can we get this snowglobe? Probably NHL.com. So adorable.
37. Those gloves are really a stunning accessory for Danny.
39. The Xbox Kinect will take over your family.
40. After Swedish Christmas Eve we want Christmas Morning with Michael Rupp. What a shirt.
41. Eric Godard's face = doesn't look great. At least not a normal version of great.
42. NO THIS ISN'T WHAT WE WANTED WE ARE NOT CELEBRATING THE ORIGINS OF HOCKEY WE ARE LINING POCKETS STFU
43. Not that this isn't a gorgeous setting for a game. Shame about the weather. Better view of the city in PNC Park anyway. Whatever. Beautiful.
we're over it.
Pens don't play til Wednesday. Word on the street is that the January Stanley Cup is still on the line, as it wasn't seen after the Caps victory at Heinz Field.
Also, per Seth from Empty Netters, this guy's an incredible dickwad who probably just wants to bang Bobby Orr.
2 points in the standings to the Caps at the beginning of January.
Wait, that wasn't a Stanley Cup winning goal by Eric Fehr?
There wasn't any roof to raise, Semen.
We were against this from day 1.
Bad vibes, dude. Wrong venue, wrong teams, wrong story.
No valuable lessons have been learned.
regular season game, folks.
Hilarious that they kept saying it wouldn't rain, and then it did, and the rest of the affair was like watching paint dry.
Exciting if you like Eric Fehr. Sort of.
No hair league points awarded for this day in history because we don't believe that it is important or should have happened.